Aligned Authority: Evan’s Move And Our New Reality

In our very first episode, we dive into everything that’s been changing in our lives.

From Evan moving to Pittsburgh to both of us navigating new environments, new challenges, and new mindsets—we break down what it looks like to grow in real time.

This conversation is raw, honest, and about stepping into your own lane, even when things feel uncertain.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey, welcome to A Nothing But a Vibe. This is your host, Blake Vini, and I'm on here today with my friend Evan Brandt. Hey yo, Evan, tell them by yourself.

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Yes, sir. My name is Evan Brandt. I'm a local boy just like Blake. I've actually got my own podcast myself, and I'm very happy to be on here, man.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

Yeah, absolutely, bro. I've about to say my friend Evan here, he's the one that got me on to even start doing podcasts. Like he's the one that gave me the guts to even get on this because it's hard to put yourself out there. Like Evan, can you explain to the audience on how you had to put yourself out there? Because you I've been seeing you doing it for a couple years now. And I'm damn, bro. Like that trooper on that.

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Yeah, I'll say I'll have to admit, at times I think to myself, what do people think of me? I know people are probably like, oh, well, just another podcast. People clown on you, whatever it may be. But you just have to know that whatever you want to get, you have to forget about that. People are projecting themselves if they think that you're cringe or that you're doing something that's stupid that is just comes from a place of insecurity. Yeah, and it's just about, like you said, it's just about putting yourself out there and depending on what you want to do with ain't nothing but a vibe, which I'm so excited to be on. Thanks again, bro. But depending on what you want, that's just a byproduct of what you have to do. And there's gonna be a lot of people that support you, a lot of people that think ill that want ill intent on you. It's just like life, there's no difference.

SPEAKER_01 1:25

I've not been dealing with that for a long time, dude. Like, I've already had a notion of hey, there's people in my life that already gonna judge me. They don't like what I do, no matter what I say, no matter how well I'm doing or how perfect I'm doing something, they're always gonna find a way to hate on what I do. So I'm like, you know what? Fuck those people. Not in a sense that I'm better than anyone, or that I'm like, oh, if I'm out here putting myself out in front of the world and making it seem that like I'm on this platform and I'm better than someone. No, I'm not. I'm just out here just putting my ideas and visions out there to see what other people think about. And if people like what I say, that's great. That makes it where we can have a sense of community and a sense of a vibe where we can actually get along, even if I'm not there in person talking to you. If you can sit down and listen to what I gotta say and it really resonates with you until a point where you're like, I really like listening to this person. Let me see what they also talking about. Because having a time with someone that makes it where they can actually enjoy what you actually gotta say, and also getting a lesson out of it. That's something that I really want to get across to people.

SPEAKER_00 2:32

What's a lesson you want to leave an impact on this world? What's a lesson?

SPEAKER_01 2:36

I think something that I've been trying to work on, a number one thing that I think people should start working on being more grateful. That is something that is so hard to do nowadays, is actually be grateful for the things that you got in your life. Because for the longest time, I would always put myself in a space where I was thinking about all the bad things and be like, oh damn, bro, I ain't got money in my pocket. Oh damn, fat as fuck. Oh damn, like I no one fucking with me, bro. What am I supposed to do? And I'm just like, man, I got a roof on my head, I got clean water, like I can walk. I took that for granted. Like, I had I broke my foot. I remember I was on Evan's podcast talking about this before, but I had a whole situation where I had 500 pounds of sheetrock fall on my foot, and I was out of commission for a good little bit. And that's and what I gathered from that lesson is the fact that you gotta appreciate the small things in life and be grateful for those things because it might be taken away from you. Me being able to walk was taken away from me for a good little bit, and I had to be like, you know what? These are the things in life that I should not take for granted. Because if I do it beyond just being taken away from me, it's this fact that I have other things that I have going on that are more important to fucking focus on instead of the bad. I'm like, all right, if I had something, say, like I in my case, I'll say last year, I was dealing with a lot of insecurities with myself, even though I lost a lot of weight, but I had a lot of insecurities with myself because of putting myself out there finally after losing all that weight and realizing I wasn't that old version of myself anymore that was really going out and being antisocial, not really wanting to communicate, not really wanting to be around people unless I had to. And also I had Evan really get me out my shell and with these podcasts and really pushing myself out there to communicate, having good people in your life.

SPEAKER_00 4:28

That's yeah, it's very important to have important or good people in your life. I just look at myself when I told my dad and my mom my plans. I was really expecting my dad to be like, oh, what, you're moving out of this area. We what do you I was expecting him to say something, but he just put all his trust and faith into me, and my mom did too. And you gotta have people that have faith in you because if you don't, you're not gonna have as much faith in yourself. Now you can still, you have to just work harder to obtain it. We're not all on level playing grounds, but it's just feels so nice to have people in your corner, bro. It really is.

SPEAKER_01 5:01

Yeah, and I was that what gave you the whole thing of being like, hey, I gotta get the fuck out of this area. I this shit ain't for me. I love the people here, but I gotta go. What was that moment for you that gave you that?

SPEAKER_00 5:13

It was when I realized that to me, my goals, the way I was wanting to lead my life, the valley's a dead end for me. And that's not to say that it's a dead end for everybody. And I love this, I love my roots. At the end of the day, I'll always love the Shenandoah Valley. I'll be grateful that I'm from Harrisonburg, Megaki's Village. Grateful for that. But I knew that if I wanted to launch myself in a direction that was uncomfortable but growth-oriented, I had to be in an area that is more urban, more things happening, more access to opportunity. And it's a blind risk or it's a blind jump of faith at the end of the day, but it's instinctual. Somewhere in me, I know that this must be done because I have a calling. It it ties with the podcast, it ties with entrepreneurship, it's about taking risks and strategically using my resources, meeting different types of people, different cultures. I just feel like if you are not careful, you can get really stuck in your ways. And that and that's not just a Shenandoah Valley thing, although I do believe there might be a culture around that. I do believe that people can naturally become that way. And I think it's a hometown thing. It's just I'm really ready to expand my horizons and I can always come back, but I just it's like an instinct almost. There's not a doubt in my mind that it needs to be done.

SPEAKER_01 6:33

No, absolutely, dude. And I see that light in your eyes, bro. Like when you first would tell me about it, there's a lot of people being like, yo, man, I gotta get the fuck out of here, bro. I'm like, they like they say that, but year by year, season by season, they still in that bar, still talking about. And I've seen you, like, and I've seen the growth of you. Yeah, 100%. As a friend, and someone has been doing stuff for because we've been in each other's life through both our bad and worse ends. Like I've seen you at your worst, and you see me at my worst. And the fact that, like, you now, I truly believe once you move out of this area, you get a place where that can see and actually appreciate what kind of things you offer in terms of a person and also your personality, because you got a great fucking personality, man. Like, I'm not saying that as a friend, bro. You have a kind of personality that could be so charismatic that you can light up the room. Oh, yeah. Like, feel that like if you can bring that to the right area and people can see it, they'll be like, yo, damn, who where did he come from? And they like, oh, he from like from Virginia? What country as hell? Yeah, and that's what I'm saying. We gotta represent, bro. Like, we go out. You better not tell them that you from got no motherfucker, you gotta tell them that you're country as hell. You better put on that accent. You can say, Yes, ma'am, no, sir. That's right. You better haul and all that extra shit too. Just say say if you're going up north though, definitely don't do that shit to the wrong people because they're gonna be like, Man, you gotta talk faster than me, bro. Like, I like you slow as hell, bro.

SPEAKER_00 8:03

That's right. That's the thing. Like, I think at the end of the day, I'm definitely gonna tap into that southern charm a little bit. But it's just the beauty of Pittsburgh specifically is that it's underrated. I shouldn't even say it on a podcast because people are gonna realize that it's got a lot of glory to it, but it's underrated, and uh weirdly enough, I've tied my identity into it because I've got that vibe of oh, I'm starting from scratch, I'm gonna be gritty with it, I'm gonna be doing everything. That's what I'm saying. I'm not gonna pretend like I came from the bud, but I'm just saying it my identity just like underrated, fucking gritty.

SPEAKER_01 8:39

Bro, I think I feel like we have a Napoleon complex where like we're the smallest man in the room, but we feel like we gotta be on top of it. That's how I feel. Like, I'm six four, I'm a big ass dude, and I still feel like the smallest person in the room, and I feel like hey yo, bro, I gotta outdo everybody, bro. I gotta outwork harder at everybody, like no matter what that but that's just my mentality. And I see when your mentality, you do work hard. Not even talking about just for your podcast, I'm talking about you as a person. Yeah, because it takes a lot to just fucking up and move, especially to a big city, and also planning out where you're doing, you're not just moving all because it's convenient with your job, but you're doing it because you want to actually go there and set for a while and not just be a temporary fix.

SPEAKER_00 9:20

No, it's gonna be hard and it's gonna be the most challenging but most rewarding thing. What I'm doing now is as soon as I move to Pittsburgh, once everything gets finalized and I get a U-Haul and I get everything moving, I'm training my nervous system to be in motion constantly. So I probably won't even be the same person. I probably you probably won't even see me. I'll just be in a constant state of vibrant, vibrant energy, truly. I'm gonna train myself to just be to associate Pittsburgh as get to work, and I'll have time to chill. That's not the point. Like, I'm just gonna be in constant hustle mode, but I am gonna be in a constant state of motion.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

You gotta get yourself, and I feel like exposure therapy, and that's something I've probably been working on. Not since I think going out places by yourself, and just say I'll say you go to a restaurant and you just order some food and you eat in that restaurant by yourself. I do that all the time. But I see it took me a long time to do that. Like, I'm training myself now that making it where like you can just go somewhere and just be at peace with yourself and say, and also go somewhere where but you only got a drink. Say you go to a bar and you be sober and you just drink water and you just talk to people. That's way more different than just going to a bar getting fucked up and then talking to people. Because, like, for me, like I quit drinking. I'm like, I'm done. I'm probably not because sense of oh, I'm like above it, it's just because it's not for me. It doesn't match, yeah. That's good. No, it's done. I smoke weed. I don't smoke weed today. I died. I ain't gonna frighten because it's like I need to have something because people piss me. I get pissed off pretty easily. So I need something, bro. Yeah, you gotta have at least something. You I don't know what your advice is, but then that's me. I smoke, bro.

SPEAKER_00 11:00

I smoke weed depending on the situation. No, you want to think wait, do you how candid do you want to be on this? Well, I don't give a fuck, bro.

SPEAKER_01 11:07

I'll say my shit. I can go to the deep if you want, bro. We can go to the motherfucking deep. Well, I was gonna do like I'll I'll trip sack on shrooms, I'll do LSD, like oh yeah. Oh no, that's what I'm saying, bro. I remember last time, like we were together and we done shrooms. I don't know, I was like, damn, bro. Dude, that was fucking tripping, bro. Dude, we were watching Sopranos, bro. I was just like, no, I remember you remember when we were just walking around, and then I just had my cousin is driving around and he just saw me. He was just like, and also I'm gonna give y'all context before I say this shit, because I'm black and Italian, so if I don't sound on one of this mic, I'm gonna say this shit. So we were just walking around the neighborhood on strooms, and then I just happened to see my cousin that's around us like he was in the car with this other nigga. I don't know who the nigga is, but he was just like, hey, and then I was just like, ah fuck. And mind you, I have love for my cousin, but motherfucking ignorant cell. He's just who's that white nigga over there. I was like, bruh. And I'm looking at him and he'd been looking at me, be like, Did he just say that? I'll be like, Yeah, kill me. And then I just walked over and mind you, like this middle of the night, and like this motherfucker still at the light, and I'm talking to him, so the light is on green, he's still at the light, and there's a car behind him while we're talking to this fool. And and we were just conversating the whole time, too. And mind you, this is a cousin that I had problems with. Like, we family and shit, but shit, this motherfucker trying to frighten and kill me before, bruh. Like, we it's on that kind of time, like it's ignorant as shit. But like, we were cool because like I guess he probably also because the fact he's 5'6 and I'm 6'4, so like I have love for cuz, but like I will put hands on fools, but but that no ignorant shit. But it's I really thought about that because before when I was doing shit with him, I didn't even think about that shit. I really thought he could beat my ass. So I was legit scared of this motherfucker. Like, I almost had to go get a gun to go. I was it was crazy. I'm not on that kind of time no more, but I was getting fucking lit. I don't get it. Oh my god, that kills me. No, that's what I'm saying, though. And that's what I'm saying too. On this podcast, I I'm gonna be a completely honest person. Like, I used to be on a lot of ignorant ass shit, but I learned that beyond just not doing that shit no more, I had a lot of issues that made me even that kind of person in the first place. And also being around those kind of people, they'll be like, why would you do that? And I'll just realize now the reason why I have the reason why I did a lot of stupid shit is because I didn't have enough self-respect for myself.

SPEAKER_00 13:24

Yeah, that'll do it. If you don't respect yourself, you won't accomplish anything or do anything. And here's a good question: would you rather be well liked or respected? I much rather get respected.

SPEAKER_01 13:35

Yeah, one thing I learned, I said there's a lot of people that like me, but I'm like, all right, cool, bro. Do you actually give a fuck about me though? But like, yeah, bro, Blake, you doing great, you doing awesome. I had to learn that from my weight loss journey. Like a lot of people liked what I was doing when I was like fatter, but once I got actually lost weight, then I actually got respected. It was a total different dynamic shift because before people disliked me and tolerated me because the fact that I was like my actual personality. But once I actually respected myself, they saw that I had discipline, the fact that I actually took value not only just in terms of all me physically and also mentally, and also the way I conducted myself with other people. Because when I was in a state of having no self-respect, I didn't respect others, and it came through from my relationships, my friendships, my things at work, and it was terrible. I used to have a really shitty time because I didn't realize I was the problem. Yeah, when you say you were the problem, you mean what your habits? Yes, my habits, and also the way that I didn't the fact that I didn't respect myself. I felt like I could disrespect other people or get away with saying some slick ass shit more because I'm like, oh bro, I don't give a fuck, bro. Like, why should I care about you? And that's a weird, that's a fucked up mentality to have because it not only stops you from getting more opportunities, it don't just make you look like a dickhead, bro. It's really immature, and it took life kicking my ass to the T to finally get myself to a point where I have to work on things in order to get the results I want. Yeah, so you've it's like a self-accountability and also working on like shadow work when things in myself that I don't want to unusually acknowledge. But how does shadow work? I'm gonna tell you. So shadow work. Well, from me, I'm just now finally working on this. So I am not an expert. So anyone listening to this, take anything as a grain of salt. No, dead ass, because I'm like, there's already no I'm gonna have some witchy people in my shit. They'll be like, Play damn well, that's not what it means. Like, you can't, but pretty much from my perspective of actually doing it, it's pretty much working on things of yourself that you usually don't acknowledge. So, like for me, my ego, like e at times when I get jailed, I'll give you a promise.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

Yeah, you'll get a you have a big ass ego sometimes. Yes, I do.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

Yeah, that's something that the reason why I have a big ass ego, because it's oh damn, I know I can do certain things other people can't do. That's cool and all. But what's that? Like me, the fact that like I'm can just randomly lift heavy ass shit, and the fact that I've been through like a whole bunch of crazy ass shit in my life more than the average person, and you know, I think that's oh damn, bro. Like, I survived and did all this, bro. Like, I don't know I'm ahead of all y'all, bro. No, that shit dead. Like, I'm not, and it took me 24 years of living my life to be like, man, I'm humble enough now to know that I don't know shit. And that's fucking awesome not to know shit because you can always learn and always continue to learn if you don't have the mindset of not having even being open to listen to a vice for the longest time. Like, I would have a vice go one ear and out the other, and that killed me for so long, bro. And one thing I was gonna ask you too, what made you really take the steps to really get beyond just like I want to move and do this thing for my life? What things in your life got you to a point of having self-improvement?

SPEAKER_00 16:52

Ooh, good question. I would say for me, what got me going was hitting for I would say the catalyst, not the sole reason. I had these thoughts in my head, but I would be working a job that I didn't have my soul into, and I'm grateful for the opportunity for working for State Farm, but it just was not I was lying to myself like, oh, I was just getting a paycheck and moving on with my life, and it made me depressed because I had these dreams that I was hiding because I didn't have the self-confidence, or I didn't respect myself enough to say, look, I'm about to go off the beaten path, I'm about to do something that nobody's doing, and that scared me. I was not the person that could handle that, and I'm still growing into that to be able to hold that identity, that heavy identity of being an entrepreneur, a business owner, a content creator, an actor, all these things that stack up. So to answer your question, I would say my DUI was the catalyst, was the point in my life where I was like, wait, I'm fucking hitting a dead end. I'm living a life I don't respect. I don't like the bullshit job I work. Like I said, if anyone listens to this that that knows me, I love State Farm, I love my clients. That's not the point. The point is that I have this potential and this burning desire inside of me that's that is pushing me towards a goal that I used to believe was unattainable. But yeah, I think be losing it all to answer your question. I think losing it all in a sense starts that for people. And for me, especially. When I had my DO, I got so depressed, dude. As you can imagine, like I just felt like a fuck up. I was fucking, I was like you, I was a fat cunt.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

Like I was just yeah, we were some fat motherfucker, and I get that, bro. It's and that's the thing I saw with you, bro. It's the fact that you took accountability. Most people don't take accountability at all, even after they get a DUI, bro. Like, I saw so many motherfuckers be like, Man, like it wasn't my fault. Like, I could have got away with it. I'm like, no, bro. Like, you you took accountability, and beyond this taking accountability, you're actually fixed the problem. Yes, and you actually saw it, like, all right. I mean, there was probably a reason why you were drinking, because like to that point, there's always a reason you were depressed. Yeah, you say to yourself, you only knew like you were fucking that was the fucking byproduct of you being fucking depressed, is you drinking and fucking feeling like shit.

SPEAKER_00 19:15

Yeah, I was living out of alignment. That's the thing. I have a theory, and I tell this is probably a core message of me as a being. Everybody has a vice in their life, like a true, I'd say, problem. And some people have a lot of problems, but when you overcome probably one of your worst problems, life, the universe, God, whatever you want to say rewards you heavily for that. And I'm I try to tell everybody that to understand, because not everybody talks about their problems or their issues, but if they have if anyone listening has a like something that they're trying to tackle, just tackle it because you will be rewarded greatly for it. And the way that works, I believe, is it's it all comes back to that self-confidence and that self-belief because when you're living in this state of reaction, when you're living in a state of survival, that is when before I got the DUI, I was living in survival. I was going to a job that I had I did not care about. I was living in comfort, and it but it was like hell, like comfort. They say that the road to heaven feels like hell, and the road to hell feels like heaven. Absolutely. And that is very true for every aspect of life when you really think about it. When you work out, you keep the path to heaven is your physique and or how you feel. It's hell to get there, right? Yeah, it is, and but doing drugs, doing all these things that are hedonistic. If you don't know what hedonistic is, that is pursuit of pleasure. So when you're constantly in the state of pleasure pursuiting, what happens? You crash, you become, you lose your self-esteem, you become someone you don't even recognize. So it all relates to that. So just in that Pittsburgh, jumping into deep end, that's uncomfortable, that's scary, that's all this. But I know in my heart that it's gonna be worth it once I overcome those obstacles.

SPEAKER_01 21:05

Yeah, I think you will, bro. Like, I really feel beyond this you move into Pittsburgh, like this next chapter in your life, you're gonna meet so many people that you probably never would expect it. Like, for me, finally putting myself out there, even like before I even started this episode. I was talking so much. I've been talking for about a year and year and a half about making a podcast. I'm like, bro, I gotta, I've been like, Man, I gotta set this up, bro. I like I got the time, but like, damn, bro. Like, this one thing popped up. There's so many things in my life that fucking I've had happen, and I made so many excuses. And you're the one person I've seen in my life that don't make excuses. No, that ass, like he really I know like before we made this podcast, like he used to get on my ass about not fucking doing shit, bro. He's yo, bro, like you said you're doing a podcast, bro. What were you doing?

SPEAKER_00 21:55

I was like, bro, like even me and I was like, how many pieces of content you making, bro? Like, I see a lot. Of talking, I ain't seen a lot of doing, bro. And now I see this and I'm like, dude, you are fucking doing it. You know how many people get caught in that zone of just talking? Look, you're doing it. What is this right now? And that is manifesting.

SPEAKER_01 22:12

Yeah, I had that's why I'm saying manifest. I'm glad you fucking mentioned that because that's literally what I've been doing the past year. It's manifesting all the positive in my life. Yeah. And being able to be like, I will have these things happen for me. I'm going to make it happen for me. I don't know how I'm going to fucking do it, but I'm going to do it. Like, I'm going to have fucking my money. I'm going to fucking eventually get my own spot. I'm eventually going to be doing my own podcast. I'm eventually going to fucking be in a stable relationship. There's some things that I fucking am going to be manifesting. I'm working on. And it's that's what I'm saying. The journey don't stop once you get it. Cause that's the only thing like I I learned too. Like when I was like, man, bro, I got I didn't when I lost 100 pounds. I was just like, damn, bro. Like I this is it. Like my life's gonna be fucking so much better and all that shit. Yeah, guess what? It fucking sucks still. It was actually one of the worst points of my life once I lost 100 pounds. Like shit, I was working at I was working a shitty ass job, fucking working 40-50 hours a week. I still was I was vaping still, I was still taking care of my health and working off to a certain degree, but it's like not me. I wasn't me. I felt, yeah, I lost the weight, and I was like, I had people proud of me, but I just felt like the same person that I've been the whole time. And it took me, I mean, honestly, it took me me quitting to be like, you know what? I have self-respect for myself, yeah. And also I have more value beyond just working a 40-50 hour job. Like, I have so many dreams and ambitions that I want to do, it's hard to quantify. And that's what I'm saying, and not even a sense of all lit them out, it's just a sense of like how much I want people to realize that any point person out there that's doing shit, you can get started. Any to even even if you don't got the means to do it, you can get started. If you got a phone, say if you want to start making social media, you got a phone. You or even if you're scared of getting on a phone, you you record yourself doing shit, get yourself on the shop. There's things you can always do to improve yourself, don't just get stuck on if oh I can't do it. It's hard. Say, oh, you can't run a mile, run a half mile, figure it out. There, if there's a will, there's a motherway.

SPEAKER_00 24:29

Absolutely. And I am curious, bro, since you slid this in here when you're saying it. Are you looking for a girlfriend, bro? You said you want a stable relationship.

SPEAKER_01 24:37

I said honestly, I just want a girl that doesn't piss me off. But that's honestly not mission impossible, bro. But I realized too that especially when it came to women in my life, I had to learn one thing is ain't no one beyond just me respecting myself. I get to treat women like shit. I was a whore. We're not a doubt. No dead ass no, bro. It was terrible. I'm not in a try to be out here, be like, oh no, dude, no, it was bad. And now I try to like it. No, me now, it's like, all right, if I talk to someone, I'm just gonna be like, Can I actually talk to you? Because like before, probably like, damn, bro, Sean got a nice ass, you know, oh she cute. But I'm like, bro, no, like that, that was my mentality, and I'm mad enough to mint that shit. I was a horndog. But me now, I don't want someone I can talk to. If I can't talk to you, I'm like, what this support? I don't even want to have sex with you, I can't talk to you. Cause no, yes, obviously, I'm still gonna be attracted to you, but I'm like, is it worth it though? Is it really worth breaking that barrier? Because like I realize too, each person you fuck with there's soul bonds, and if you fuck with that shit, bro, you on hell now, that's gonna suck.

SPEAKER_00 25:40

Yeah, everyone you have sex with, you share a piece of your soul now. But you dodged the question are you looking for a girlfriend, bro? You said you were wanting to manifest a stable relationship, so I'll dodge it.

SPEAKER_01 25:52

I mean, I know for me, I'll say I want the works of a relationship, but I don't want it to just be like, oh, I'm talking to this person automatically. Once I'm talking to them, we automatically in a relationship. I want to be able to go on dates, be able to just lead to what a relationship would actually be, not let it be forced. Because I think I see a lot of relationships where people just talk and they're automatically as soon as they're talking, they're dating. I'm like, I agree with that. Let's lead to something. Let me get to know you, but also too, I don't want to have it where I'm like, all right, I'm talking to this person. If they're talking to 20 other fucks, just communicate that. I don't care if you do, just be honest. And I'm not saying you gotta give me a list or oh my just yeah, I'm with Jerry on Broad Street and the other nigga down the fucking block. And yeah, like I know I'm fucking a lot of them niggas. I'm like, girl, I don't care if you do, that's great. No, you go get it. I just communicate, and then if you is on that time, I'm like, all right, cool. I come I'm gonna communicate to you that I ain't wanna fuck with you like that. If in terms of like I don't I don't mind if you do that, but it's also how you approach it. Yeah, even me when I was a hoe, like I'm like, I was honest, I'm straight up. I'm like, yo, this is who I am. I don't wanna be like, I'm like, I wanna, I'm down to just talk to you, but I'm like, are you really on that kind of time with me? And most of the time they weren't, because no, they because most of the time I was for people that want my kind of time, they're like, Oh yeah, we'll talk, and then us talking was whatever no more because it's even cool, man. It's empty.

SPEAKER_00 27:21

Yeah, it is empty.

SPEAKER_01 27:23

Oh my bad, I didn't mean to interrupt you. That's one last thing. Like, I want a female that actually has ambition. I want a girl that has some ambition. I'm like, whatever you do, I don't care what you do. If you want to have a book club girl, you better be the top motherfucker, you better get that club bumping, goddamn it, and you better do something with that shit. Like, I want real shit. I want some ambition with a girl, straight up.

SPEAKER_00 27:45

That's real shit, bro. And that's the thing. We I was actually talking about this with my buddy. You met Jesse, bro. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we were talking about this. I don't want to get him in trouble because I don't know what's going on with him and his girl. But I'm just saying, he's like, girls, when they want to settle down, they wanna want you to bitch your life, bro.

SPEAKER_01 28:02

They do, they want possession of your soul, and I'm just I don't want you if I have a girlfriend, I don't want to control nobody. Fuck no.

SPEAKER_00 28:10

But I just don't want her fucking another dude.

SPEAKER_01 28:12

Yeah, that's my only thing. I'm just like, if I'm like, first of all, for me, if I've never cheated on a girl, anytime I've ever been in relationship, I've never. That's something I will never do. Fuck that shit. That shit fucked as fuck. If I decide to be in a relationship with you, I'm like, hey, yo, like I'm getting bleeding all the girls on my phone. That's what I used to do when I was younger, but I'm like me now. I'm just like, hey, if I had a girl hit me up, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, we can talk still, but I'm just letting you know I got a girlfriend and I'm letting you her know that I'm talking to you and I'll show you the text. So it passes point once I'm even if we talked before, then pass this point now. Once I know this shit and tell you, hey, yo, I got a girl, we ain't talking like that no more. And also, I'm like, if we did talk like that, I'll be like, Hey, I don't really feel comfortable like talking to you too much because we used to talk. Unless you're cool with us just being friends right now, then I can't really fuck with you like that. And I mean girl should I think most people should respect that.

SPEAKER_00 29:04

I agree. Now, what if your girl said, Oh, I don't like that. Would you agree with that? Would you be like, all right, I'll cut her off? It all depends on context.

SPEAKER_01 29:10

Yeah, because I'm like also too. If she's telling me to do some shit, I'm like, if I but I'm like, I'm the kind of dude, I'm like, I'm not gonna look. I've been cheated on really bad, and I'm not the kind of I don't want to look for a girl's phone. Fuck that. That's weird. I'm like, just don't be on no weird shit. You obviously gonna have guys on your phone, just don't respond to them. And if you do, that just don't fuck them. I'm like, and that's my main thing. That's like about that's really it. This like that if you can't control that, then like you shouldn't be in a relationship. Oh, but he he he made me feel special, but I'm like, you can feel special the fuck over there.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

This will fuck out my face. I'm respect, dude. That's emotionally mature of you, dog. That seems real shit. Good job. That seems like you actually put some thought into that. Me, I'm just I'm in a single life, bro. I'm not gonna be able to do that. Yeah, I mean, I've I'm actually I'm talking to this girl, bro, but she knows I'm moving to Pittsburgh, bro.

SPEAKER_01 30:08

You can tell the village, be like, hey yo, Sean, you take that train up here and that's right.

SPEAKER_00 30:13

Amtrak, bro, $15 ticket.

SPEAKER_01 30:16

Oh yeah, bro.

SPEAKER_00 30:16

You know, you shouldn't use the other $5 with a pack of condoms, man. That's right. Who says I'm using condoms, though?

SPEAKER_01 30:22

That's a no, dude.

SPEAKER_00 30:24

I'm hitting that shit raw, bro. Raw fucking chicken, bro. I'm gonna get Salmonilla, bro. Not the fuck. This nigga right here. Good lord. I threw you off your game on that, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_01 30:34

Nah, I'm in a shit. This motherfucker, I'm I'm gonna see him in the fucking ICU be like, I'm like, Kevin, what happened? He used to be like, blank, I went in the wrong one. That's funny as shit.

SPEAKER_00 30:51

Hey, you gonna come visit me in Pittsburgh, bro?

SPEAKER_01 30:54

Hell yeah, bro. You shit. I hope you got a big enough couch for me, bro. I got you, bro. I I don't know if I'm gonna use this one or if it's not another one, bro. You might as well just get another one, bro. Dude, I'm not as what's wrong with that one. Do you really want to carry it out of this apartment though?

SPEAKER_00 31:08

I had to carry it in this apartment.

SPEAKER_01 31:10

Nah, true. Well, definitely keep the chairs that you got in your apartment.

SPEAKER_00 31:14

Yeah, no, but I'm trying to get an apartment that's bigger than this.

SPEAKER_01 31:17

Oh, yeah, no, you need to. I think you need to get one that has a separate room just so you can do podcast stuff. Absolutely. That's all it's like. There's a podcast room. So like you have your living room, and then there's a separate room for specifically podcasts for your guests. It gets big enough where like you can do whatever, and then just have your own bedroom. And then, yeah, that's what I would do.

SPEAKER_00 31:39

Absolutely. That's the goal. We'll see. I'm gonna make it work no matter what. And my goal with I don't want to just fucking plug in my brand, but with hazy headed, I want to get it to the point where I'm doing 10 reels a day, five threads a day, and a podcast a week. No, see, no that's a workload, bro.

SPEAKER_01 31:57

That is, bro. Like, because this beam, like for me, like I want to be able to do it where if I can do at least one or two podcasts a month, I'll be content with that. And then doing reels. Here's my thing too. Like, I love doing podcasts, but I also want to eventually do like YouTube stuff, eventually do like workout videos because like I love fitness, that's my shit. But also I want to do like story times, like one-on-one stuff, like being able to be diverse with everything I do, not just be fixated on one particular thing, just not have one niche because it's like I'm not, I don't want to put all my eggs in one basket.

SPEAKER_00 32:34

Yeah, it depends on how you run that.

SPEAKER_01 32:36

That takes some strategy, but definitely, you know, and no matter what, it's definitely gonna be a process because like I definitely do want to eventually do like clothes with my fitness stuff because it's like also with the podcast, so it's all triangular a little bit. Get it started, bro.

SPEAKER_00 32:50

Get that thread stitch or whatever. Yeah, no, I know. That's it. Because I want to I want to set up a Shopify, I want to do stuff since I'm more of a philosophy brand. I want to try to get stuff like notebooks and my imagination's running wild too. I'm where you are, where I'm just like, man, I've got the whole world in front of me, like excitement, and you only live one time. So that's the thing I try to internalize in my brain. That's another message I push to people all the time. If you want to know Evan Brandt, Evan Brandt is synonymous with the fact that mortality, very in tune with the fact that we're gonna die. You look at people and the choices they make, they don't realize that they're going to die. And that sounds scary, but when you really think about it, bro, that is fucking that's the most beautiful thing about life is that it's temporary, is that you only have, let's say, 60 to 80 years, an average person. So are you really going to live under the expectations of others? Are you really gonna allow yourself to be scared of taking risks? You gotta really get your ass in the gear when you think about it. You might as well live on your own terms.

SPEAKER_01 33:51

Yeah, and I would say a question that I'm gonna ask you guys I've been thinking about like while we've been talking. Like, how do you make it where you hold yourself accountable? What are the things that, like, all right, what's making you do it every single day of being consistent with you pushing out content? What is your thing that's like, all right, what is my main thing that I gotta do today?

SPEAKER_00 34:16

Yeah, good question. I work a lot in terms of the podcasts and the reels and all, not as much as the podcast as I would say, just my brand in general. But to answer your question, how do I do that? I keep that alignment at the forefront of my mind. When I would say whatever you're doing in your life, whatever you're doing, you'll know instantly, pretty much. It might not be like just some movie grandiose thing, but you will know very quickly if you are in alignment. And what is in alignment? Alignment is working towards a goal that you know you were born to do. Everybody has it. I that's my theory. My theory is everybody has that. Many people live out of alignment, like me at State Farm. Like I had a good public image, I made money, and I was just doing that because I wanted to look good. At the end of the day, that's fucked up to say. But it's all he works at State Farm, that's high class, that's the but I was dying slowly on the inside. So, to answer your question, it doesn't take as much effort as you think when you're living in alignment. When you're doing something that you know you want to do, it's gonna be hard, it's gonna be a lot of work, but that work is gonna feel empowering. It's like when you have fallen in love with the journey, you've made the right decision. Simple as that. And if you haven't fallen in love with the journey, keep looking because you have a purpose that's a lot bigger than whatever shitty bullshit job you're in right now.

SPEAKER_01 35:36

Yeah, I know I had that when I was before I broke my foot. I was just chasing the money, bro. Like I was chasing, I was out here. I'm you know what? Fuck it. Since it's my podcast, I can talk about whatever the fuck I want to on here. I was really ignorant back then. I used to do weed pop-ups, like I used to trap, I didn't give a fuck. I was out in the streets, I was lit. I was chasing the image too of me being like, hey, because I've had such a hard life and shit that oh, I gotta be hard, I gotta be on, I gotta be a street nigga, bro. I gotta have all these guns, I gotta be out here being wild and me now. I'm like, fuck all that shit. I'm a peaceful motherfucker. I've been around violence my whole life, and I realized I'm like, I don't wanna be around that shit no more. I don't want to see niggas getting shot. Fuck that. That shit's scary as hell. Like that it is. I don't care what anyone says, like having that image of acting like nothing bothers you, it's crazy. It is like it is real out here, bro. And I think for me, it's like that final moment when I like I was like, bro, I was like, I'm about to, I was at a point when I was gonna work at cores and work at doing low cable pulling, and then plus I was gonna be trapping too, and like I was gonna be doing three things, I was just chasing their money, bro. I didn't give a fuck. That's the worst thing you can chase. Yeah, and then that's what I'm saying. Like, and then as soon as I broke my foot, it just made me boom. All those things just leapt out of me. And I was just like, I was so like, I was like, man, I was about to get my shit together and all that shit. I was like, man, I was about to be working a good job. Because the job I was like, both the jobs I was about to have great money. But I was like, I looked at my looking back at it, I was like, this is before I was at my highest point at 325. I was like probably around 280, 290 already, smoking two packs of cigarettes every single day, fan didn't work out at all, just not doing shit with my life, just out in the streets, being going out to the neighborhood, being around. I was around like so many trifling ass niggas, bro. It was crazy. And I think putting myself around those people and me not around those people now, I felt so way different. And it's not oh, I'm better than those people now that I've got myself out of that situation. It was just the fact looking back at it, it was like you're unaligned. I was on aligned by it, because like those once I did start getting better and started doing beyond this, oh, stop doing street shit. Like, they were proud of me to stop doing street shit. But once I started, oh, taking care of my health and like speaking about being positive and not trying to beat up motherfuckers and all that anymore. They were like, Oh, bro, Blake Vene, they're like, V you changed. Like, you like why you not the same no more? I'm like, bro, I don't want to be the same no more. Yeah, I don't want to do no more.

SPEAKER_00 38:04

Absolutely, you gotta be that way. What do you think we were made to evolve? We were made to change. And another thing that another idea that I submit to is the fact that we are creators, we were created whether by God, whether it be by coincidence, we were created to create. And you are if you live your life with constant consumption, whether that's TV, whether that's pornography, whether that's video, like too much of that bullshit is just corroding your brain. And when you create, your synapses expand. You are you are smart, like you could be the dumbest motherfucker, you could have an IQ of 90, but if you're in creation, you are magnetized, you are creating, you do not have to be smart to get what you want, you just have to have the audacity to do it.

SPEAKER_01 38:52

Yeah, and also I feel like the things you actually speak, the words that actually come out your mouth. Little if you speak positively about yourself, like other and others, especially about others, yes, that's one thing I've realized too, because you can speak positively about yourself, but if you're talking shit about others all day long, how do you think other people are gonna feel about you? Yeah, people are gonna read that even if they never hear you talking about others, like they're gonna be like, I say, I I'll give a prime example. Say I'll I'm always talking about other people. Uh I was to say, I'll get say me and you example, but like, man, fuck man, look at look at this nigga Evan Farrell. He got white ass socks, what's khaki pants? What the fuck this nigga doing, bro? God, absolutely now man, I hell no, I could wear khakis better than this nigga. What the fuck? Like that's that's his example. Like, what kind of time you just speaking that shit, even if then I Evan didn't ever heard me saying that shit. If I'm speaking that out loud all the time, and that's what I'm constantly vibrating out, eventually that's what people are gonna pick up from me. Cause yeah, even if you try to hide it from people are gonna pick up on that, people pick up on your body language, people pick up on your energy and all that, and your energy fucked up, niggas gonna know.

SPEAKER_00 39:58

Absolutely, you're right, and that's the thing. That's why the biggest thing that people do when you say speaking it into existence, a bad thing that we do that I'm bad for, that I'm consciously working on. So I it's I don't know what the opposite of shadow work is, but this is a conscious work, is when you say something and you don't follow through with it, that's really bad because you're training yourself to be able to train your brain saying, Okay, I can forget about this, and that's that is an unhealthy habit. And I really had to do that with myself. Oh, okay, I'm gonna go edit the podcast, and then I'm just piddling along, and that's those are bad habits. So if you say that you're gonna do something, like, okay, I'm moving to Pittsburgh and you don't do it, that is astronomical on your mental health. That is really bad because you're teaching yourself that you can get away with slacking.

SPEAKER_01 40:47

Yeah, and also I feel like it's the fact that people won't take you as seriously.

SPEAKER_00 40:51

Oh, absolutely, absolutely. See, there's just a lot of dominoes, negative dominoes that fall into place. I'm always trying to whatever I say I do. That doesn't that doesn't mean I'm perfect. But if you are doing that more often than not, that you're going there, you're taking action, you're training your brain that you can do things that hold yourself to a higher standard. Yes, exactly. And then that's the accountability piece that goes into alignment. And I alignment won't just make like magically make you work harder, it just makes it easier to work hard because you are you can see a bigger picture, you have a bigger reason. I would do everything I'm about to go do if I didn't get paid. That's how aligned I am. Obviously, I'm gonna be making fucking a lot of money, but I hope so. I don't care about money at this point, but I will make a lot of money in time because I'm going to figure out how to make a brand, how I'm gonna do certain things. And I think whoever's listening to this, like one thing, if you never hear me again, you know, if I get the joy of being able to be on Ain't Nothing But a Vibe Again, that'd be sick. But if you never hear from me again, just know whatever's scratching at the back of your mind, go fucking do it. Do it. There's no time to waste. If you fall on your face, guess what? You did it. You tried it. That's better than 90% of all of humanity. They sit back and they're the observers when the people they see people create their reality in real time. You don't want to be an observer, you want to observe it and then be inspired to do it. Surround yourself with good people, but at the end of the day, you don't want to be an observer, you don't want to be the one in the theater looking at the screen, being like, Man, I could have fucking done that.

SPEAKER_01 42:25

And then you don't want to have a life of what ifs. Yes. That's something that I've started to realize because like the older you get, like I'm 24, but I'm just like, I'm only having life's things of what if I could have done that. But if you stop saying what if, but like, what will I do? Yes. What will I do today? So what if I do that today? I'm like, what will I do today, nigga? I'm gonna get that done.

SPEAKER_00 42:49

Yeah, that's and that's it's it takes time to get to that place, and I think it does come down if you if you can get yourself to believe in yourself truly, that's an overused phrase. But when you get to that point, when you actually believe in yourself, it's a feeling that you can't, it's almost impossible to describe. It's if you saw yourself as the greatest person on earth, and I say this to it's an affirmation I told you is if I lived a hundred more lifetimes, I would be Evan Brandt and every single one of them. That's not ego, that's coming from spirit because I know I've got something to give. I don't look down upon people, I'm empowered, I'm spiritually gifted. I'm Evan fucking Brandt, baby. Like, I don't look down upon you, I just know my worth, and I know that I can exceed my expectations time and time again. It's if it's like almost like if I was Kanye without fucking narcissism.

SPEAKER_01 43:39

Oh, now they gotta have that confidence in for me. My affirmations that I've done a lot is being be like, I'm gonna talk calm, smooth, and coherently, and people can actually understand me, and my word has meaning and power behind it.

SPEAKER_00 43:56

Yeah, that's good. And those things though, so it's really Rituals. So when you look at a prayer, let's say let's take, let's look at this from a meta, like a meta from a bigger picture angle. Let's look at this from a meta view. When you look down at people that are praying, or people doing demonic rituals, or people doing point being, what I'm getting in all that is that it's ritualistic. You are just a sum of your rituals. So if you pray to God and you know, you you feel empowered, you associate that with that. When you are energized and then you get up, just like I was saying earlier. I don't know if I said this on camera or off camera, but I'm training my nervous system to see Pittsburgh as being in constant motion. It's gonna be ritualistic. Every time I have energy, I'll associate with working. It's all ritualistic. When you create that ritual in your mind and you're able to execute it constantly, you're gonna see growth. It's inevitable. To some degree, you're gonna see growth because you're training your subconscious and your nervous system to say, Oh, I like this.

SPEAKER_01 44:58

I think for me, my next step is probably making myself consistent. Consistency is my major problem when it comes because I know consistency when it comes to my body. Yeah, but when translating that to actual real life stuff, it's my next challenge. It's hard, bro. It ain't easy.

SPEAKER_00 45:15

If it was easy, everyone would exactly.

SPEAKER_01 45:17

And I think too, it's just the fact of making a plan, also making adjustments to the plan. Don't have it be rigid. Because I think a lot of people, when they make a plan, they'd be like, Oh, I needed to stick the it needs to be this exact same way, the whole fruit, time through, all that shit. No, you gotta be realistic. For me, all right, if I'm trying to get my personal training certification, because that's something I'm working on. I will be like, Oh, at first I was like, Man, I'm gonna do it in like a certain amount of months and X, Y, Z. But me now, I'm just like, I'm gonna get it done, but I need to do it where I am not rushed. Because if I rush this process, I'm not gonna understand what any of this is. I might know it for the test, but like actually knowing it for my job, I'm not you. That's the whole point of taking the test. Because even if my certification, like I get a job internship after I get done with the actual certification, so I'm like, yeah, there's that part of it too. But I want to be able to actually understand this information. So if I'm teaching someone how to lift or how to do something, I don't get them hurt. Yeah, obviously. Because that's a liability, bro. I didn't realize you gotta have your own insurance and a whole bunch of shit just to be like a personal trainer, too.

SPEAKER_00 46:24

Yeah, it makes sense, but get it. Just that's the thing, too. The funny thing about reality and what you want, if you really actually truly want something, this circles back to what I was saying about the alignment. If you actually want something and you don't want it for the just the money, or you just you don't want it just for respect. When you do it for something you actually want, you'll get it. It doesn't matter. I mean, it it seriously, if you just think about if you let's say you wanted to be the fucking president and you woke up every day and you said, I'm gonna work towards it every day, or death is gonna have to take me before I stop chasing my goal, goal starts seeming realistic. Obviously, the president has a lot of nuance, and nobody's just gonna wake up and say, Oh, I want to be the fucking president, but just apply that. If you say, I'm gonna fucking chase this, and the only way it's gonna stop me is death, bro. What's gonna fucking stop you, bro? Literally, that is the type of energy that you can bring to your life if you are aligned with your life. You don't get that. That's a fucking deep energy within you that you cannot access unless you're on the right path. I believe that totally.

SPEAKER_01 47:31

And also, I feel like people are their own worst enemy. I swear to god, like I was my own worst enemy for the longest time. And beyond just my bad habits, but beyond being my I was my biggest critic. Yeah, you are gonna be your biggest critic no matter what you do. Like, even if, say, if you're starting a new job, like you're how you do something, if like my I'm the kind of person, if I do something, I'm gonna be like, damn, bro, why did I not do it this way? Why don't I like I am so critical of myself and I I push myself so hard, especially when it comes to something I'm really passionate about, and I learned that you got to not yes, you gotta be hard on yourself in terms of get stuff done, but you got to be able to not hate on yourself so much that you're not gonna be able to understand exactly nice things if you make mistakes, bro. That's part of the process. You have to make mistakes in order to learn.

SPEAKER_00 48:23

Exactly. See, that's the thing. No, you brought up a good point that you be rigid, be rigid on your process, but good on easy on yourself. So give yourself some grace, bro. Like at the end of the day, there's people that there's fucking the mamba mentality, and that's great. But like, I think if you don't give yourself grace in the sense like, oh, I'm human too, you'll hold yourself to a standard that you are not yet. So, for example, like I have all these dreams, and it took me a while, like I was telling you earlier, is when I had to come to terms with oh, I'm quitting state farm. My identity was tied to that. I have to be able to create myself into a person that can carry this new identity. And see, that's the thing. Once you before you can do that, you don't have the ability to do that before you start stacking small wins and stacking self-confidence, like you don't have that. And if you do not give yourself a break while you're on that road, it's exactly what you said, bro. That's you're so fucking right on that. Being your own worst enemy will kill you. It could literally kill you. Yeah, bro.

SPEAKER_01 49:25

And I but no, no, I'm about to say, like, do you stop yourself from making it where like you're like, oh my god, I'm fucking making so many mistakes, and oh, I had that cringy, especially making it real. Like I that's something I'm gonna have to get over because I'm eventually gonna have to like, especially like facing the camera and see myself on camera, I'm like, oh my god, bro, talk that way. Like I had that cringe, bro. Like, I I had to get over that audio. I think it's not as bad as compared to video, because at least with audio, like you can hear yourself and like eventually, like you get over that oh, hearing yourself, like your actual voice. Cause most people, if you actually unless you don't record a lot, you're it's weird hearing your own voice. It took me a long time to actually like really get comfortable, like hearing myself and actually how I sound like.

SPEAKER_00 50:10

Yeah, so I would say for me, you're right. That cringe shit is yeah, you see yourself and you're like, oh, and then you're like, oh, poor yeah, it's cringy, but would I rather cringe at myself while I'm chasing my goal, or would I rather cringe at myself when I'm 90 on my deathbed saying, why'd I stay at State Farm for 60 years? It's really being able to understand, like I said, you're gonna die. So if you constantly train yourself that you need to live up to others' expectations, you're gonna be stuck forever. I'm ready to look like a fool. I'm finally it takes it's baby steps, dude. It's baby steps. Like I didn't tell people for the longest time that I was gonna go acting. I didn't tell my dad till fucking two weeks ago that I'm moving to Pittsburgh. Like, all these things take courage. And once if you really want it, you will start to internalize that understanding that you're cringing now, but just wait until people are cringing because you didn't release an episode for a week. Imagine having such an impact that you go ghost for a week and someone's yo, anyone heard from fucking Blake Veney. What's going on with that's going on? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:17

Hell yeah, but they want to waiting for your next move. That's what I'm saying. That's how I'm trying to get to a point for myself, is where I want people to be happy when I release shit. Yes. When I'm fucking posting something, they'll be like, oh damn, Vini posted another. Oh shit, that nigga about to get this shit motherfucking bumping. There, that's how I'm trying to be. I'm trying to get it when you hear my voice, you're like, Oh shit, today's about to be a good day.

SPEAKER_00 51:41

Yeah, and that's how it supposed to be for me. And that's true impact. And I'll say this, bro. People will say you're crazy, people will say you're cringe, oh, he's a wannabe influencer. They say all that until they ask you for the roadmap, until they ask you, oh, how'd you do that? And if you can truly believe in yourself to that extent, dude, I don't give a fuck how wild your dream is. If you want to be a if you want to own your own marine biologist outlet, if you are a kid who grew up in a fucking rich fan, I'm talking like goddamn owner of the a whole college, like type of money like that type of time, and your parents just paved their way for you, and you don't give a fuck about investment banking, but you're making millions of dollars, but you hate your fucking life, versus some guy who works at McDonald's and he feels enlightened, he feels like he's making a purpose and he doesn't make a lot of money, but he lives on his own terms. What's a better life, bro? What the one that lives on their own terms, or the person who gets all the material wealth? That's the question. Because that's where people will choose the later because they've been socially programmed to think that. Yeah, and also I choose. Did I say the later? Whatever. I choose the McDonald's worker, bro, because I want to live life on my fucking freedom.

SPEAKER_01 52:57

That's all I'm saying. People don't also value their time. Yes, that's something that I'm now finally because before I would work like 40, 50 hours a week. I would work ridiculous. Like I would have no life, and I want to live. But yes, I always say I want money, that's the thing, but I'm like, I choose my free time. I choose my peace. People don't choose their peace and look at them, bro. They're miserable.

SPEAKER_00 53:23

Absolutely, bro. That's the thing. If you that's the thing, and living on your own terms is alignment. That's people are programmed to believe, dude. I've seen so many people, I'm not gonna name drop because they're close to us, bro. But I've seen so many people fucking in my short 24 years of living, bro, that will say, Oh, that's not realistic for me. Oh, that's not and I'm like, dude, I just think to myself, like, why is it not realistic for you, bro?

SPEAKER_01 53:50

Nothing like, why don't you not believe it? I'm like, bro, there's so many people that I see then we're probably talking about the same people because we have the same friends. I'm like, bro, I see so much potential in you, nigga, but you don't even see in yourself. I'm like, bro, like other people, that's what I'm saying. Like, even with me, like people saw for the longest time, even before I lost all the weight and all the things, they were like, like, I see it. I literally had Hunter, the guy that from complete health, like he told me before I started losing weight. Like, literally, he was just like, I see that fire, you got that eye of the tiger in your eyes, man. Like, I see it in you. You like I he believed in me before I believed in myself, and I think that's what a lot of people need. They need someone to believe in them before and I and honestly, you gotta believe in yourself before but like I'm telling you, there's that one if you have that one person in your life that will be there and be like, yo, dog, keep on going, bro. That one person, even if they're not gonna directly say it to you sometimes, but they're that that person in your corner be like, Yo, bro, I believe in you, bro. I think you're gonna do great things. Like, my best friend was that for me, too. He but throughout my whole journey, like he has guided me, he's put up with my bullshit, he's been through hell and back with me, and he's told me he's that's I swear to god, like people need people that like that in their life. Someone that will fucking give a flying fuck about you for not any benefit just because they just that's they love you as a friend, they love you as a person, yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 55:11

And I think Cam's right, you're definitely the type of person that has action fucking in you constantly. You just need somebody to just like the real, just yo, let's fucking do the real right now, bro. And you got to work, you're like, oh, let's do this. And I think that's a good spot to be in, bro, where you're just a you're just a kind push away from doing what you're doing. That is good, that's a really good place to be in, bro. If you think about it, yeah, you might be able to get to a point where you have to operate on your own terms, but the fact that you're so easily persuaded in the right direction is good, you know, yeah, and it's healthy because that's that actually puts your ego to a side. That's operating from spirit, bro. That's all I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 55:51

It was a slow process for me to get to that point because like I knew Cam. Cam first met me when I was 19. I was still in the streets, I was still stupid, like I was homeless before. Like I was coming off being homeless. I was on, I just got on probation. It's like, damn, bro, how was it a really he even told me when he first met me, he's I had this energy, I had a dark cloud over my head where like I had this energy around me where people didn't want to be around me. And he was the one person in my life that wanted to be around me. He's like, Yeah, bro, I've been there at that point too. Hold up, bro. It would start off small, be like, hey yo, dog, what you doing, bro? Yo, come to the gym with me, bro. Let's go work out. He's like, I'm like, all right. Even though I worked out before and I always have, I didn't really want to do it. So I'm like, all right, fuck it. He said, Hey yo, he's a nigga, we're gonna read this book. All right, you're gonna sit here and listen to listen to me read this book out loud. And I'm like, alright, cool. And I was like, I did that, and then uh slowly got me integrated more and more, but oh damn, bro, that's what a real friend like a real friend's supposed to show you stuff that's supposed to empower you and supposed to fucking better you, not stupid shit, especially older. All my older homies was teach me stupid shit, bro. Like I had my one, like I had my one OG stuff, like I used to live with, bro. This nigga, like, I love it and dead, but I'm in this motherfucker. We were like one day out in the middle of Elkton and this stupid ass fool. We were at this one other guy's house, and we were trying to fix my homie's actual house because the plumbing was fucked up. So we going over to his friend's spot, get tools, and he's just V. I gotta go get again. I gotta get some shit for my pain, man. He's my my shit fucked up. Cause mind you, like, this nigga got shot in the neck. God damn. Yeah, yeah. This nigga got shot, but not like a gun. Like, he got shot with airsoft pellet shit. Like, no, I still was paralyzed and all that nigga was fucked up from an airsoft pellet? Yeah, bro. Got shot in the neck. Yeah, he had to get airlifted and all that shit, bro. My one homie almost got charge of murder for that shit, bro. Cause he almost didn't, but not on purpose, but like, you know what's that's another story out there too. But like me, I want me and this nigga, like, cause he's really good. He was the one that person when I was first was homeless. Like, he I was living with him. Fucking, he was the older person. Also, he was a seller for my dad. And if I was was like, hey bro, let's go get these tools, let's go get this shit, let's get this shit done. He's just like, yeah, I gotta get something for my pain. I was just like, all right, fuck. So I didn't think this nigga was really gonna be on some shit. So like we were at this nigga's house, and this motherfucker's like he pulls out this bong. And I was just like, oh, I was like, at first I was like, oh, we're gonna smoke some weed. Oh hell no. But he pulled out. This nigga pulled out fliff pipe. God damn it. But this meth pipe is. No, I'm not even trying to be on no racist shit, but I'm not. But here's the fuck part, bro. As a mentor, like this nigga was like, This shit that had orange juice in this shit. So I was just like, yo, what the fuck? I'm just seeing this shit, and I'm like, I'm watching these niggas here, and he's just like, Beanie, my he is my hands fucked up. You gotta have a little piece for me, bro. I was just like, Yeah, what? I was like, fuck it. So I'm covering my mouth. I'm like having my mouth over my mouth, t-shirt over my mouth. I'm having the piece reached out, stretched out shit, and this nigga smoking this, and it's I was like, what the fuck am I doing with my life, bro? Like, why am I and I love that nigga to death, but I'm like, why he's my old like he's my older hand. This nigga's supposed to be teaching me shit. This nigga's teaching me to do the wrong shit. So I'm just like, damn, bro, like me being in those kind of environments, and it just made me realize that, like, also I had a real bad problem with having peer pressure. That was another thing, too, that I had to work on. Because all the bad times I've ever gotten the fucked up shit was from peer pressure. Like any times I took a charge, or any charge of the both charges I got was taking charges for people. Don't do that. Yeah, I was dumb as fuck. Hey, but you learned you learned, you learned a lot. Yeah, I did learn. And you know how I learned from my pocketbook and my time in my almost cost me my freedom. Yeah, look where you are now, bro. That's inspiring this. And that's all I'm saying. Like, the older I get, like I have anyone younger than me. I'm like, hey, I want you to do good. I'm like, bro, read a motherfucking book, nigga. Go to the gym. No, dead ass, bro. If I have some younger niggas around me, bro, I'm like, yo, nigga, you better read that book. Stay at the don't be like me, bro. Don't don't do like yo. You I tell you these stories and shit. No, nigga, don't be like me, bro. Be better than me. I want you to be better than me, nigga. I want you to get an education, go to school, go to college, get it free, be fucking someone that your mother mother would be proud of. That's something that I wish to God that I would have worked on more. That I truly wish to God before my mom died was being someone that she would have been proud to have been around. Because for the longest time I wasn't, I was hood right. I was in, I was ignorant. And then towards the end, when I finally saw, like when I made peace with my mom, that was the main thing that got me so finally at peace. Cause I showed her that I'm like, mom, I ain't doing no stupid shit no more. I'm like, I'm doing good. And that was the thing that made me she, I think that gave her peace at the end is the fact that she knew that I was going on a the right path now.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:36

Yes, that probably gave her a lot of solace. For real. Yeah. How are you feeling?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:42

About now since then, I definitely still that's a situation like that will change you for the rest of my was traumatized from that shit. Cause I didn't even get a chance to tell what really even happened like after my mom's funeral. Cause I like my like after my mom's funeral and shit, my family was they were heartbroken and everything. But my brother, because I mind you, I I have love for my brother, love him to death, but that nigga is crazy. That nigga's like actually legit certified crazy. Like that nigga is cuckoo bananas. And this nigga almost got shot and killed outside as soon as my mother's funeral got done, bro. This nigga almost got shot and killed. God damn it. Yeah, bro. This nigga, all right. So pretty much after we left the cemetery, like it was me and my brother, we both left first, but like he left out very first. Like as soon as it got done, like as soon as they tell everyone to leave, like everyone was still looking at the casket and like the flowers and everything like that. Cause they didn't even bury her because it was snowing outside. So they didn't, like, it's like this, like in I forget what the fuck it was called, like auditorium. Some like this area where they had it before they actually went outside and buried her, but pretty much had it where pretty much he just went out and dipped out. And I waited a little bit because I was talking to a couple people, and I took a couple flowers and stuff, and then I left out, and then I see a car at a gas station that like a couple like miles up the road. Then I'm just like, Man, it can't be because I saw my it looked like my brother's car. I was like, ah hell no. I was like, man, it can't be. And I was like, fuck it, let me park real quick. I and I was like, I don't think it's gonna be like that. And then I see two cop cars pulled up into my brother, and I see my brother in the back of the cop car, and I'm just like, oh my god, guys, Jesus Christ, man. And I'm like, and I saw I'm leaving out the funeral and shit. I'm following it. I was like, man. Why did he do that?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:26

Because he stupid as shit. Because it was he no because I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:30

I don't think it's necessarily because it's trauma, it's just because I I mean he has autism and stuff, so like I'm not just blaming the autism on this shit. Also, it's because my brother just don't give a fuck. That's like even him having autism, like he just that nigga just don't care. He just don't, like, he just wasn't fully dislike. Also, yeah, I know he was definitely still dealing with his trauma from that shit. So, like, I definitely knew that was a particular factor, but it was just the fact that he almost got himself shot and killed. Cause like as soon as I came up to the cop, they're like, I immediately as soon as I got there, they're like, Oh, yeah, we pulled a gun out on your brother. I was like, and that and especially if you if uh that cop tells you as soon as you meet that nigga and yo, we pulled a gun on this fool. And they did that's it. Ain't one that's illegal as fuck, two of that was like no, it really is. And I was just like, yo, what that's crazy. And I'm like, I'm and I was so shocked by the fact that he even I'm so fucked up because the fact that this literally is immediately after my mother's funeral, that's the audacity of all this. I'm just like, bro. But what'd he do to do? Because he was driving recklessly, and I guess they was like, Wait, but they knew that they were part of the because they saw because they he wasn't drunk. I'm just like, Y'all know this thing is not drunk. Like you saw him be with the funeral. So I'm just like, the felt also the fact y'all immediately pulled guns. I was like, no, that's I understand the context of the situation, like what how they were explaining it, but I'm like, bro, no, like what y'all did was illegal as fuck. You're lucky you didn't shot and kill my brother because that ain't no one's been a lawsuit and two. And if I would have had my gun, I probably would have shot that nigga. I probably wouldn't have the capture they would have shot. I'm not trying to be ignorant of me saying that really was my mentality of after the funeral if that shit would have happened. Would you are you gonna get Evan on the podcast?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:06

It's not this Evan that's currently talking. Oh no, Evan Tini.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:09

My brother, I don't know. I don't even know where that nigga's at right now for real.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:12

Shit. You gonna get him on the podcast though? Yeah, maybe you could ask him, bro. You could you could just leverage his head to shut up the school, like just give it to everyone at East Rock.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:22

Like, you remember the kid that used to show the nigga be like, I don't feel like no, but no, no, he actually almost did no shit. He almost did that almost dude. But he didn't do it though, just when y'all niggas on, he didn't shoot no sleep. No, he didn't know was he wanting to do it? You think he would have? No, he just got bullied, bro. And that's a whole thing that was so unfair with my brother and shit that he didn't get a chance to actually get to live a childhood. Cause like he once that shit happened to him, also like even before that nigga got bullied relentlessly, bro. He was like, he got he went to a mental hospital in the fifth grade. Nigga trying to kill himself. And you gotta go be going through some really fucked up shit to try to kill yourself in the fifth grade. And I got that's what I'm saying. So I never understood how he truly felt. So I'm not gonna sit here and try to judge him on that shit. Goodbye. I just want him to do better. That's always one of my for my brother. I just want him to do better than me. Like, man, also like we have a point where we can actually just be brothers and shit. And because I'm the youngest in my family, like I'm the baby and I'm taking care of this nigga, bro. I want him to be able to like take care of himself. Yeah, but at the end of the day, you don't think he does take care of him? No, fuck no. He's probably at a mental hospital right now. I don't even know where that nigga's at. I really don't.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:29

I thought he was where you were at for a bit.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:31

No, he was, and then like he went back down to my grandmother's on my mom's side, and then I guess they probably went and finally got him help. I hope he finally getting some. I pray to God he's getting some help. I mean, because he's not a bad person. I love my brother. He's good, and he's not a bad person, and then he gets this crazy. Like he has a good heart. He's that's good.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:49

No, I respect that, man. The fact that you stood up for him like that says a lot about you and what you believe could happen, bro. That's you seeing stuff for him, a future. Do you see that happening for him?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:59

I feel like. If he just got on the right medication, he's not stupid. That's like the shit that pisses me off of him. He's not stupid at all. That's the that that actually what makes me so mad. He's actually extremely intelligent on certain shit. But he just has autism. And what someone that has autism can still be really intelligent, but they just had no social skills at all.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:19

Yeah, no, they're retarded socially.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:22

But yeah, but I feel like for him, if he can just get himself, I honestly I feel like if he can just have a spot where he can just get his own place, be his own person, just not get fucked with, that that's all he needs. Yeah, that's all anyone needs, to be honest. Yeah, absolutely. But yeah, bro. Honestly, no, I just anyone in my life, I just want them to do better, bro. Like, that's like my main final point that I want to get across to anyone's listening. If you at a point where you don't think you're doing well, there you can start any day, you can start to get better at any day, and you could be at any point because you gotta start from somewhere. I mean, that's anything. You just gotta start from somewhere, man.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:02

Absolutely. And that's the thing. Once you start something, it's reality's already in motion, bro. Like, even if you want to tell me something crazy, give me a random example, and I'll uh just any occupation or life. Uh, in terms of example, just something crazy. So give me something crazy. Just well, astronaut. Okay, I'll just give it to myself. Okay, go ahead. So you want to be an astronaut, bro. If you woke up the next day and you googled how to be an astronaut, boom, you just did something towards your goal. People don't realize that it all starts with the Google search, then it all starts with what you're gonna do next. And then, dude, fucking that's how I'm where I'm at right now. I'm moving to Pittsburgh from those small little steps, bro. So just do it, just do something small and keep stacking it up.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:48

Hell yeah. Abbas said, Evan, Abba said, do you have any final words for the audience?

SPEAKER_00 1:07:53

Just believe in yourself and most importantly, start and actually not most importantly, this is most importantly know that you're gonna die. So do whatever you want and chase your dream with a fucking burning desire.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:07

Hell yeah. And I'll be said, bro. Anyone that sat through and listened to this whole podcast, I really appreciate y'all coming on and actually having a good time. Cause it ain't nothing but a vibe. We were trying to make it where we can have a sense of community, a sense where you can get on and just enjoy the time of this us talking. And if you enjoy, put a comment on and let us know what y'all think. I appreciate y'all and y'all have a good rest of y'all's day.