Truth in the Noise

In this episode of Ain’t Nothin’ But a Vibe, Blake Veney and Christian Falciglia dive into Truth in the Noise — a conversation about healing, chakra energy, spirituality, emotional growth, and self-discovery. Recorded after meeting at an event in Charlottesville, the discussion naturally unfolds into deeper reflections on trauma, mindset, confidence, protecting your peace, and learning how to navigate life’s chaos with awareness and purpose.

No scripts. No fake personas. Just real conversation and truth beneath the noise.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Ain't the Butter Vive. This is your host, Blake Beanie. I'm with my guest today. You want to introduce the audience to yourself, man?

SPEAKER_02 0:07

Yes, sir. My name is uh my real name is Christian. I go my mini names. I also go by Dope C, which is my artist name. I make music, and Astaroo, which is basically my spiritual name. And we'll probably get into more of that on the podcast. But just basically I got a lot of names. I'm called by a lot of things.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

So I'm about to say you seem like a kind of person that's really in tune with your alignment and like spirituality.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

Oh, yes, sir. The first thing when we met, you were like, Oh, I fuck with your chakra tattoo. Like the first thing you said when we met was like, Oh, your chakra tattoo is fire. Like, I've been getting in my spirituality, and you start asking me questions and shit like that. And I've been like on my spiritual journey probably since like COVID and shit happened, probably like mid-pandemic, and when everybody was inside learning about themselves and being forced to look inside themselves, which is it for certain people is good. Certain people I don't know, like they didn't do much with it. But for me, I took it, I bettered my life. I was going through a bunch of shit at the time, and I took the cards I was dealt, which weren't the best, and I turned it around and tried to make it as positive as I could and tried to help other people, inspire people as much as I could throughout the process, making content throughout my music, whether it's just on the street with a person that I just met, just trying to spit them some life advice or some shit like that. Like I've always been the helpful person trying to help other people because I've never really, I don't know, I've I've experienced I've experienced less help than what I received, you know. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00 1:47

You feel like you had to return that energy out that was not given to you because if you can give out that energy to others, maybe it might be reciprocated to you.

SPEAKER_02 1:56

Yeah, yeah. I've I've always like wanted that. Like I've always been told treat people how you want to be treated, and that's it.

SPEAKER_00 2:03

That's hard. People I see people, I think, take concepts and sayings and metaphors, and they take it in the back of their head, but actually practice it in terms of life and their values and how it's a day-to-day basis and not just where they're actually feeling good. That's where it's making it where it's hard. People aren't consistent with their behavior, so consistency with your actions make it where people can feel that more. Because we only do something nice once in a while. People want to tell. Yeah. Like people feel that shit. Like and people can tell if you're genuine. Um a lot of people don't understand that people can read your vibe. Oh, yeah, for sure. Even if like you put out to the front, like I like me and Freeman House, like for a longest time, like I'll be like trying to make people laugh, trying to make people like I'm goofy and all that shit, even though like I'm not that kind of person. Uh-huh. But I was trying to do it to make myself fit in. And it takes a lot of self-awareness, accountability to be like, yo, um, that's not a good thing to do, which changes behavior, and beyond just changing this behavior, fix it with something better and make it once I fix this behavior, I can help others do it in a way where it's not forcing them to do it. You can't force people to do something they don't want to do. Facts.

SPEAKER_02 3:19

Yeah, I feel like that ties into like me. Like, I've experienced like a lot with like addiction and shit like that. And like I've noticed, like, not only in myself, but with other people around me, like you can tell them all day, every day, like, it's not good for you, like stop doing what you're doing, whether it's like drugs, alcohol, whatever the case may be. Don't even gotta be like drugs at that point. But you keep telling them it's not good for you, it's hurting you, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. You can tell them all day long, but it's not gonna get through to them until they finally find it in themselves, like, oh shit, like I want to change, I want to do something different. And with myself, like I've experienced that for a long time, for years. Like, I would get told by my mom and my dad, like, you're drinking too much, like you need to slow down, you need to quit. And I was just like, nah, I'm good. Like, I would just I had a problem, I will admit, I had a really big fucking problem with alcohol. And I'm almost a year sober now, thank God. Or I am over a year sober now, thank God. But yeah, it's definitely showed me that people aren't gonna stop. And like even you can preach as much as you want, but they're not gonna stop unless they really find it in themselves that they want to. Like, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink, basically.

SPEAKER_00 4:34

And I think for you to be able to even get yourself to a point to acknowledge it, you have a problem. Most people don't want to acknowledge it, they have a problem. Yeah, it's just like that is not because that's the first step to fixing the problem. The second step too is like, all right, once you acknowledge it, are you actually gonna do the thing that's gonna fix the problem? Like what you do, like all right, I want to start drinking. How do you do that? You gotta stop fucking drinking. Yeah, that's what it's like, it's like that sounds like kind of like that. Sounds like, oh, like simple enough, but like people don't realize that's like saying it and doing it are two different actions, two different things, and a lot of people can talk, but doing it, and once you do it, people can feel it. Because, like, same like when you like me going to the gym, like I people can tell when you've been lacking on a gym, even if you're in good shape, bro. Like with me, like I ain't gonna find like the last couple weeks, I was lacking like a motherfucker because I was depressed as hell. I was not feeling myself. Not because I not knowing that my body was in a good shape. I knew I was in good shape, but I was content because I was like, man, I got everything going good. Like, I'm feeling myself. I'm like, you know what? Fuck, let me enjoy myself. I've been too hard. Nah, fuck that. As soon as I did that shit, no, I lost my shit. I was like, I mean, not really lose my shit, but I'm like, damn, bro, I could have been so much better. But now I'm like, I am trying to walk anymore. And it's not something that I'm gonna sit here and act like I do like every single day, full metal to the metal, like getting myself back in shape now. Hell no, that's not how shit works. Like you're gonna burn yourself out and make it where you're gonna fucking go back to step one faster and instead of like slowly getting yourself back into a habit that you already are used to, anyways. Like with you, like say you didn't get back to like making music for a while. You have the habit of making music once you've been doing it for a certain amount of time. But after you stop doing it for a little bit, you get a little bit rusty or you get a little bit nervous until doing it. And then once you like get, I'm getting the reps in, like, I'm getting the flow, it gets more of an easement into it where you're like, all right, man, like now I'm having enjoyment of this instead of being like, damn, like I it's fucking torture. If it's something you're passionate about, and if it's torturous to you, what's the point of fucking doing it?

SPEAKER_02 6:55

Yeah, no, I've I've experienced both sides of that, like the torturous side, and I've experienced, of course, the side where you love it, of course. And like I have like right now, I haven't been in the studio making music in probably six months, probably almost closer to a year now, and it fucking sucks, bro. And like, but at the same time, I'm also working on a lot of other things like my content, getting my first house and shit like that. I'm trying, I'm also working a full-time job, trying to go to the gym, focus my mental health, my physical, my spiritual, all that shit, you know?

SPEAKER_00 7:32

Yeah, and everything is a balance, and people don't realize like you try to teeter off to one particular thing, you're gonna lose yourself. You gotta like with me, I ain't gonna friend. I was like really heavy on like just working out full thing, like not really working on my social skills, like just fully being in where and then having it where like I can have a point where I'm not always focused on things that don't matter. Like, because I was like before, like I was just really focusing on like a lot, like a lot of attention sinking, a lot of intention sinking, and that's not really something that's good because it's like at the end of the day, people are gonna see through that shit, and it's just like, dude, like you're doing too much, and they're not gonna really directly say that to you, but it's like how they act towards you is gonna say that in their demeanor. Yeah, yeah, it took me a long time to be able to read people, but it's like you can't really get mad at them for like calling it out, and the only thing you can really do is just adapt to that behavior and the face that you see from them. Yeah, facts. I like my own.

SPEAKER_02 8:35

Yeah, yeah, no, but I just kind of lost my train of thought. But it's all good.

SPEAKER_00 8:40

But no, I think for the long cause for me, dude, like it I I always was not like this. I was like, especially like when it when I saw your tattoos, it's like it took me a long time to even get used to like trying to slow down, understand like why my emotions are these ways, like why I'm putting myself in the situations that make me fucking act like say, all right, if I have anxiety about something, and I know when I do a certain activity that it it heightens my anxiety, why would I continue doing that activity? That's redundant. But most people do it because it's what's familiar. It's comfortable. Comfort can kill you because something that is you're used to doing, but doing that is outside of comfort is what actually causes growth. Facts. And it's people don't understand that it's like growth is not linear, it's up and down, it's fucking static, it's something that's gonna take you to a point where it's like you don't know when you're gonna grow. Sometimes you might have to get reminded of someone else to really see that you've grown based off a certain situation. Facts.

SPEAKER_02 9:54

Yeah, no, it definitely takes other people to like not to compare yourself to other people, but it definitely takes like other people's perspectives on life and what they've been through to like show you like, damn, like I have done a lot with my life, like compared to other people, not to like say you're better than anybody or anything, but like just saying like someone the same age as you, like you got just like they don't have a car, and you got a car, and like you just think that's like some normal shit, but in reality, like that's a blessing. Like you don't even realize like that person who don't got the car, like they wish for that shit every day, and you got that, and that's just a normal part of your day. And I think that is just I don't know. I think people take a lot of things for granted nowadays, and we don't really see what we have until it's gone. And I think that what I try to push is for people to be more grateful about just like the little things in life, like just try to make life even if it's not the best in all aspects, like try to find the good in every aspect, like even if it might not be all positive and everything you want in life, like it could be a whole lot worse. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 11:09

But and that's what I'm saying. It's like you gotta remember, like, because a lot of people when they go through some hard times, and then when they get out of hard times and they're better, they don't realize how low they really were. So like they just forget about the struggle, and it's like, and then that's why they can have continuous loops instead of being like, all right, when I was at my lowest point, what was the things going on and what things that I was doing that was making me feel that way? And also who was I around at that particular time continuously that made me feel that particular way at a constant basis, or not even a consistent feeling, like a mixed or volatile, like cocktail of fucking feelings that people will be like, damn, when I'm around this person, I feel like shit. And it's just like people don't correlate two and two together until like they get older and they're like, damn, when I was around that person, I felt like I was kind of like I didn't feel good, but when I was away, it got away. So it's like they think it's them. And sometimes even if like you knowledge and you think you fix their problems, someone else is not gonna do that, and you can't make them fix their own problems. So beyond is you changing your own behavior, it's just like sometimes you just gotta step the fuck away and just not deal with those people because they were gonna drag you the fuck down.

SPEAKER_02 12:29

Absolutely. You gotta sit in your own energy and not always be hearing shit from everybody else and what their perspective is on life and how to do things like find your way in life, do what you want to do. Other people they give you advice, cool, but don't base your life on what other people say. Find your own way, find your own path. And granted, it might not be the easiest, you might make mistakes, everybody makes mistakes, but you're on your own journey. Don't try to relive other people's journeys through stories they've told you. Like, take the advice and use what you will with it, but don't be suckered into like everybody's like limited perception of what life can be. Like, there's so many opportunities and ways and paths you can take. Like, there's limitless, there's endless, and so many people are just so confided in or so just used to the fact, like, oh, you gotta work a job nine to five, go to college, get a wife, settle down, retire at 67.

SPEAKER_00 13:35

It's what society around them thinks is acceptable and they want to be accepted. Deep down, a lot of people want to be accepted. It might mean I know for a fact that I'm not fully gonna be accepted from this. I know that, and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm fucking content with that. So either I'm gonna be going all the way to the top or I'm gonna fucking crash to the bottom. That's what I'm choosing how my life directory is gonna go. Because I don't want to be mediocre. I don't, I tr I refuse that. And it's not like me being overly cocky, it's just like I strive to do better because it's like I've been through so much shit that why don't I do better? Why don't I want better for myself? Why don't I have confidence in myself? I have to have confidence, even if I don't believe it in the moment, I'm gonna speak it. That's why we so much at affirmations. Absolutely. That's why we did that shit before the podcast. I swear to God, like I we really did that.

SPEAKER_02 14:32

Affirmations are amazing, bro. I literally have a whole song of song literally called affirmations, and it is the catchiest shit. And like I feel like you will subconsciously reprogram your brain by saying affirmations every day, and like that's why I made like that song. It's not even out yet, but I made that song specifically to have people sing along to it and re-sub like reprogram their brain subconsciously in a positive way instead of all this negative shit that's in the music nowadays, talking about sex, guns, drugs, killing.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

I've also like I kind of fall trivy to that a little bit. Yeah, it's like I think that's like for me, it's like, damn, that it's the beat. That's what I'm saying. That's fucked up about the stuff that's like with the drill and all that extra shit. It's like the beat. They make it catchy on purpose. They know, they know the vibration of a song is good. What's fucked up about it is the twisting that because the vibration could be they can be talking about anything on their track and they choose to talk about that. Why? Why is the stuff that's the most destructive and the most insile and the most more likely to make you less intelligent, most promoted around most in vulnerable communities? Because they want them to be in self-they want to be beneath them. They see as lower value, they want you to be in lower value because they gather the most from people maintained at a certain level. Because if everyone came to the top and lased their vibration, they wouldn't have anyone to use, they wouldn't have people to fucking manipulate, they wouldn't have people to actually get their causes into effect, they wouldn't have people to use. Exactly. So you having that, and then once you get to a point where you can see, like, I you don't think it's better just because you see stuff at a certain different aspect or certain light. It's just certain things you see as patterns and you call it out, and then it's like, well, you call it out. Some things if you call out, you know what's gonna happen to you if you get like you out you know, and it don't look like I'm talking out.

SPEAKER_02 16:32

Yeah, exactly what the fuck I'm talking about. Damn right. Nah, I don't even gotta say much, but nah, yeah, that shit is very real and like it's like fucked up. That's the way this world is. Like, you can't even like talk about certain topics or aspects without getting looked down upon or like people criticizing you, or even worse, like people will try to come after your ass, like literally, like yeah, that's why I try to promote like controlling what you can do.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

Because at the end of the day, like I think I've been seeing on social media a lot where people are there's to pointing out the problem. Everyone I everyone sees the problem. We see what's going on and they see the evil in the world, but what the fuck are you actively doing to change it in your community? What are you in your own instance of what you can control and what you can acknowledge and what information that you actively is more of a likelihood to have success in your area comparing something on a national scale or something like that? Because people think, oh, yes, like I'll give you a prime example, like people being missing. I'm not even gonna get into why or whatever, because I don't give a fuck about that, because that's none of my goddamn business. But the main point of this is just like people instead of worrying about the national shit, worried about the shit that's local, and even beyond national, like they're being them people being missing, like why what are the situations that are getting people missing in the first place? Beyond just fucking whatever the fuck they're putting out there in social media. What beyond that? I'm talking about like situations where fucking like people run away from home, like it's abuse. And that's all I'm saying. But you acknowledging that, why are these things like you gotta create environments where like I once there's no abuse happening no more, what does it get replaced with? Because if you don't replace abuse with a conducive environment, it's just still gonna be a stunt and growth. It's just gonna be in a different aspect. It just because they didn't get abused, doesn't mean they actually conspire to be a better person. Because I think a lot of people that get paid when they're younger or had a lot of crazy shit happen to them, it makes them either grow or go inward. It's one of the two. It's like it's like you can't like it's no middle ground. That's why I felt it myself, like I can't go inward, I gotta go outward, I gotta better myself and overcome this to a point where it's like it's not gonna overtake me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:47

Yeah, I feel like a lot of people, that's what I don't know, this world right now. People are so focused on the outside world and trying to control everything outside of them when in reality they need to be looking inward, they need to look within themselves, they need to meditate, they need to go out in nature, they need to ground, get with animals, like do anything to just raise your vibration in that way and stop trying to find different vices and different ways, and trying to find solutions in the physical when in reality the problem is within. You are trying to fill a hole with all these different things, whatever the case may be, drugs, TV, just like music, whatever. Like, I believe that it's all to fill a hole that people are never gonna be able to fill because they're looking in the wrong places, they're looking in places outside of themselves. Like it even says in the Bible, like within you is the power of Christ, like the power of Christ is inside of you, not to look outward of like to a God or anything like that. Like everything you need is within you. You just have to tap into whatever that is, and a lot of people like and especially in my life, like I would like meditate and shit like that, and they're like, Why are you meditating? Like, what's the point? And I'm like, you have to do it to understand it. I'm like, I can talk to you about it all day, you're not gonna understand it. But once you finally try it, like a lot of people aren't even willing to try it, and that's why they won't even get to any type of like inner solution with themselves because they don't even give it a shot. Like they just always they're known to criticize it. Like, that's just all they know growing up is like it's hippie woo-woo shit. Like, you're just like, what are you doing? You're just breathing. They're like, oh, I breathe all the time. I'm like, you don't breathe like you supposed to, like they're not conscious, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:49

Like it see, with me when I do breathing, I do nasal breathing. And also I do conscious, second, like making it where I'm like, all right, when I'm breathing, what are my thoughts? And when I'm hearing these vibrations beyond the particular topic, what the vibration is like supposed to like help with, it's also making sure that I'm having it where I have I truly believe what the fuck I'm going. Like that's all I'm saying. Like you're truly like saying what's going on instead of just being like what sounds comfortable out loud. Like I think a lot of people should do shadow work. Absolutely. I've been doing that a lot more, and it's a and I'm not, I'm still learning the process of it. I'm just like now really like getting myself being realistic about it instead of just being like, all right, what sounds good in my head or out loud? Because I force myself to read the things out loud, like out loud and saying it how I'm saying stuff right now, and make it where I'm like, what am I? Does what I'm saying out loud sound fucking crazy, or is it something like coherent over that? I actually believe what I'm saying. Cause it forces you to really think about it. If you do, most people don't have a A real actual conscious idea what their inner thoughts are. I think they get an idea and glimpse of it in certain aspects. Like when you get drunk, it loosens yourself. It's like I and I think that's a whole thing too. It's like there's truth to that. Oh yeah. It takes away a filter. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It does. But it gets it's fucking poisoning you.

SPEAKER_02 22:29

Yeah, yeah, at the same time, like there's pros and cons to everything. And there are just happens to be a lot more cons to alcohol. Like, alcohol, like I always say to people, like, name one thing you can do better after you drink. Like, after you have a drink, name one thing you can do better. And they most of the time can't give me an answer. Most of the time, I always hear, oh, I can dance better. I can dance better after I drink. I'm like, no, you can't. You're drunk and fucked up and think you can dance better. You have the filter taken off to where you don't give a fuck about what people think of you when you're dancing, so you don't care. So it it doesn't make you a better dancer. You might feel better when you're dancing, but like basis, there is no real pros to drinking besides what you were mentioning. Like even then, it's not really a pro, to be honest.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

And I think most people don't want to realize that when they do drink, they're not themselves. Oh no. You're not yourself. And like I think they just say, Oh, I loosen up and all that shit. Like, yes, to a certain degree, but I've noticed especially once you're getting past like 20. Not 21, 20. Because as past teenage years, you're in that limbo stage and where like you're not fully adult, you can't go to bars, but you're getting drunk. So there's like a lot of people falling that trap and like where like they get people that get like they're starting to go get drinking and all that stuff, and they party and more, and it's that rabble hole of them being able to like fall into bad habits, and also because they don't have a lot of guidance because the people have no purpose. A lot of people seek purpose from this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:14

Like you were saying, that alcohol, when you drink alcohol, it's not like they're not the same person. Like, and like I I want to share something like what I've learned, like through like just spirituality and like doing like going down rabbit holes and shit like that. So basically, the term alcohol comes from the Hebrew term alcohol, which translates into body eating spirit, which is why they call it booze, why they call it spirits, and when people black out and get drunk, it's not because they're well, it is because they're they had too much to drink. But what really happens when people black out and people are like, oh, that wasn't them, they would never do that. Like, I don't know why they did that. It's because it wasn't them. They drank so much that it lowered their vibration to a level to where they were susceptible to being possessed by spirits, demons, etc. And when people black out, they don't remember it. It's because they weren't in control at that time, they were possessed by a spirit demon, and that's why they end up doing crazy shit that they normally wouldn't do when they were sober. And that is just like my whole aspect of like blacking out and shit like that. It's more than just a physical, it's a spiritual thing. It goes a lot deeper than just getting drunk, having fun, like oh, like in the morning, like we might feel a little fucked up, but like in reality, you were being siphoned of your energy, you were being taken advantage of by a lower level spirit, like, and same thing when people like get high and shit like that, like certain drugs, like I will say like meth and shit like that. I've heard stories of people like going, like seeing like shadow people and shit like that, and like that is a real thing, it's unit's lifting a veil of reality when you get high and you can like, but it's a low vibrational drug, so you see lower vibrational entities, but like in other terms, like mushrooms or like acid or some shit, you see like high vibrational entities. Well, depending on the mind state you're in, I will say.

SPEAKER_00 26:29

Because even on it, yeah, I think a lot of people don't be aware that I think they just do it just to fucking go trip and they don't have the conscious effort of like, oh, I'm altering my mind when I'm taking these. Even if I'm tripping, the whole point of tripping is to have awareness of your ego, and also that's when I take it. I wanted the death of it, but like I haven't experienced a full like I like it's got it's been bruised. It's been like that, it's been bruised a lot. I'll tell you what. It's still there a little bit, but I'm working on it. It's like I think I need to find wing do it, but it's just like I'm kind of scared. So I'm trying to work on that.

SPEAKER_02 27:05

No, it's definitely a scary process. I like I don't want to say I've had like any major ego deaths, but like I have taken a shit like a copious amounts of like psychedelics to where like if a normal person took them, it would be considered an ego death. And like I guess in some sort of way I died and came back because that's like when I started like learn relearning everything. But basically, like my first time ever taking mushrooms, I was 16, 17, somewhere around there, and I was with my boy in his basement, and he just got a fresh batch from his dude. He was like, Oh, he was like, These joints are really potent. He was like, and I was just learning about this shit. He was like, So he was like, if you take a certain amount one day and then the next day you try to take the same amount, it's not gonna work the same. And I was I only had enough for a Q. So I bought a Q and I was like, they say the recommended dose is three five of eighth. So I was like, fuck, I'm not trying to eat this eighth and then have this other eighth the next day and not do the same, have the same effect. So I was like, fuck it, do the whole quarter. Bad fucking idea, bro. Oh my god. So and not only did I do a quarter, but I put it into a tea, which if you did like a lemon turf, the lemon tech, the lemon tech, oh my god, bro. The lemon tech, it is so instead of eating the mushrooms and going through the whole digestive process of like an hour, hour and a half, it skips all that. It extracts the psilocybin out of the mushrooms into a tea, you drink it, and within like 15-20 minutes, you're fully blasted off, bro. And this was my first time 16, 17 years old. I had no fucking clue what I was getting myself into. I thought it was just gonna be cool little scene shit, a little vibe. No, bro, that shit was it blew my fucking mind, bro. So I made the tea and shit like that. We go downstairs in this room, we start watching like trippy music videos, and I remember one specific music video, LSD by ASAP Rocky. If you've ever seen that music video, you know exactly how trippy that shit is alone on the come up of mushrooms. Bro, like that that video is literally engraved in my fucking brain because of that. Like, it's almost like a PTSD kind of thing, but not really. But anyways, I drank the tea, I start coming up on the mushrooms, and we were watching music videos and shit. Everything was cool. We were vibing, chill, and then for some reason I just got super in my head, and I was just like, fuck. It and well, yeah, this is very much ego death. I was in my head replaying back to back to back, just dropping down onto my knees, grabbing my friend by his shirt and telling him, take me to the fucking hospital, take me to the hospital. I am dying. That replayed in my head for what did not do my one friend, bro.

SPEAKER_00 30:13

Holy fuck.

SPEAKER_02 30:14

Bro, that replayed in my head for what seemed like was hours, but it probably was only like 10-15 minutes. And then after that happened for a little while, I was like, I need to go outside. I was like, I need to get a nice restart, bro. I was like, Yeah, yeah, I was overwhelmed.

SPEAKER_00 30:29

Especially if you did a cue, bro.

SPEAKER_02 30:30

Like, bro, in a chill in the book. Yeah, I mean, I oh my god, yeah, that shit was insane. So I go outside and I was sitting on his porch watching the grass just morph and swirl and do all crazy kinds of shit. And he comes outside, comes checks on me and shit like that. Somehow I end up sitting in my car. I didn't have my keys, luckily, because I I won't fucking driving nowhere, obviously. But he was just chilling, making sure I was good. He won't tripping or nothing. He was making sure like this was my first time. He was like, I'm gonna make sure you're good, make sure you're safe and shit like that. So we were just talking outside. He was just trying to just make conversation so I wouldn't lose my shit. And he was like, Oh, I I got a pond in the back of my back of my house, it's down in the woods. He was like, You want to go back there? I was in my mind, first thing that clicked is pond, woods, and then when I saw him, it was most likely the mushrooms, but he had the biggest grin on his face, the biggest smirk on his face. And if you ever seen the movie Smile, like where it's like the big ass grin, bro, bro, that was literally his face. And I was in my mind, I was like, he's trying to take me back in the woods and kill me and throw my body in the pond. I was like, No, I'm good, I'm good. We go, we go skip that. He was like, Yeah, you're you're tripping. We we gonna go back inside. Go back inside. I try to use the bathroom, bro. The TMI, but when you piss, there's bubbles and the bubbles and the piss, every single bubble was in different eye looking at me.

SPEAKER_00 32:05

Oh, and it wasn't like looking like yeah, it was like staying contest with me.

SPEAKER_02 32:09

Bro, it would it wasn't even like realistic eyes, it was like geometrical, like different colored eyes, like green and orange and purple, and like just different eyes, like just appearing, disappearing, some getting big, some getting super small. It was like I was I was entranced in my piss. Like, bro, I'd like that's a crazy ass sentence. No, I couldn't, I see I've never been that tripper before. Bro, that shit was fucking nuts. But anyway, I did my rounds around the house and I found myself somehow in the basement from coming outside to upstairs. I came in the basement and then I completely forgot where I was. And my boy came out. He was like, yo, where were you? I was like, I don't know. I was like, how did I get here? He was like, What do you mean? He was like, You drove here. I was like, No, how did I get in the basement? Like, how am I standing here right now? I was just outside. He was like, Bro, come back in the room. You're fucking tripping. I was like, I was like, bro, fuck. Like it this shit lasted for like six hours, something like that, bro. Like, probably four, four to six hours, because uh teas usually last a little less longer than when you take them digestive-wise. But yeah, no, bro, that shit was that shit rocked my world to say the least. And I had to call out of work the next day. I was like, Yeah, I'm not coming in because my yeah, it was very much ego death.

SPEAKER_00 33:36

No, you definitely I think anytime you do shrooms, bare minimum, if you do not have the next day off, don't do shrooms. I ain't gonna lie, unless you gotta do it, like unless you got like a like a night shift. Like if it's that, like if you got time in the morning to recoup, like for me, I remember one time I did like a living turk and I did like a 2.5. But like I was like doing all the candles and like her, I was like attentional with it and everything like that. But I was tripping like a motherfucker. I mean, I was like thinking, I was like, god damn, like I was seeing the fucking carpet, I was like, oh fuck, this carpet looks kind of good right now. Yeah, that shit looked crazy. Like damn. Man, I was like, yo, this shit wild. And I was like, but I was like, I had to like focus myself inward. And then I I had intention before. See, that's why I was saying, like, I don't try to take shrooms without intention. Because we don't, I mean, yeah, don't get me wrong, you still gonna you can be fucked up.

SPEAKER_02 34:32

But they will humble you. Yeah, they will fuck you.

SPEAKER_00 34:34

Yeah, because I I like you think you'll be like, oh, I can't, I'm like, nah, bro.

SPEAKER_02 34:38

Oh, I'm just doing this to get fucked up. I'm just trying to get high. No, bitch, you about to lay on the floor for four hours straight and face your fucking demons. That's what you're about to do. That's what happened to me.

SPEAKER_00 34:48

I was I I was talking to like myself and I was just like, well, I feel like, why do I do the things I do? And I it made me really realize that like I have such bad anxiety and like I'm such an overthinker. And also the fact that like I kind of try to do shit for attention, but I'm working on that. Yeah, I really do. It's like not even like a thing of ego, it's more like I gotta prove myself.

SPEAKER_02 35:12

I do the same thing, I'm a victim of that as well. I always uh I don't know, I guess it kind of stems from like childhood and like not getting like the proper like attention you need from like your parents, like as a kid. Like, and I feel like a lot of people in today's age feel that because most people's parents are focused on working and like putting their entire life like to work just to give them get give their kids a better life, which is completely understandable, completely justifiable. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 35:46

People don't realize like you having money to do stuff is cool, but if you ain't got time to spend that money and make it where you're relaxed and actually like enjoying your life and you aren't just working 40 hours a week, it's not that's not life. That's just not like you're entrapped into a routine that they normalize because it's beneficial to them. It's not beneficial to you, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 36:12

And like you like I've I see videos of people all the time, like people who have like no money, but they got their family with them, they got like all their people, they're happy as can be. And then you see these people got all their money, not really connected with their families and shit like that, depressed, sad as shit, but they can buy whatever they want. It's to show that money truly doesn't buy happiness and that the people around you, your community, and what you do with your life and also it's what you around you.

SPEAKER_00 36:41

Yeah, it's also what you do with money.

SPEAKER_02 36:43

And also Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 36:44

Yeah, because like I I even like I think with me for the longest time, I use money as a thing that's like, oh, once I have this, I'm good. I'm like, I I'm a man because I got bread. I'm like, no, you're not a man because you're a man, you you you or I think when you become mature, is when you have actual morals and values and you've been through enough stuff that's made you aware of like this life that you live before. It's like, yeah, those things that are bad that happened to you were not cool. But that's you're not that person no more. You can change, you can you can not be around those people. You can even if you you get because you're always gonna have bad shit happen to you. You're always gonna have bad moments, you're gonna have good moments, you're gonna have moments where you're fucking having it where everyone's gonna fuck with you. You're gonna have times where people don't fuck with you, but you staying the same person through and through all that is more important than fucking making it's you can still fucking let it get to you. It's like people don't I think that's the thing. You can there's nothing wrong about staying strong, but like it's okay acknowledge something that's bothering you. If you need to ask for help, I think that's like the one thing I I don't like. I really like been thinking about this lately, because like I had a friend that just like recently just passed away, like he like committed suicide, and it's like he was I he was a great man. Truly was a great man. Like when I met him, gave me a place to stay. Like when he he cooked me food, he let me shoot guns, and he he wouldn't he fucking was cool as fuck. Cool as fuck. You know, truly he was he was a musician, like he fucking was a passionate person, he was a kind-hearted man, he cared about his community, he cared about the people around him, and it's just like sometimes people or even if they're a great person, it's just like they don't want to ask them that they're okay. So it's like they have something like fond memories of someone, and like then like they needed help. And that's all I'm saying, like even before that, like long before that, that's all I'm saying. Like everyone asks too late. And I think that's the thing. People don't see the signs. Yeah, that's what it fucking kills me.

SPEAKER_02 39:01

Yeah, and um, unfortunately, like a big population of that it's a big like stigma in this society, like men have to be tough, men have to be like good with their emotions, conceal their emotions, not be like emotional, like or else they're seen as like feminine, or like they're not seen as strong or like whatever.

SPEAKER_00 39:26

And I think the stigma of having rejection, of shame, of fucking fear, of not belonging, makes the men so fucking vulnerable to fucking having that fucking urge to do that shit. And that's one, because they don't feel like no one's in their corner.

SPEAKER_02 39:43

Yeah, everybody is against them. It's like the men always have to be the ones who provide, and the men is always the one who's gotta be the moneymaker in the house. Like, if like I don't know, the women like I feel like they have a more like a better support system.

SPEAKER_00 40:00

They do because women, I because people care about women and children more. That's why when on lifeboats, they are allowed to leave first. Yeah, they do. Yeah, because they're men are expendable first in terms of society, because the children become fucking providers later on. They're supposed to take care of the household. That's like in terms of like back in the like ancient times when men went off to war, the kids were left at home. That's the reason why, is because they were supposed to be raised in case they went off and died at war. They can take care of their mother. That's why they do that. That's what that's why it carries on into society now where men are supposed to be beyond just providers and everything like that. We're supposed to have the status of like having things put together and we're supposed to be against each other. And it's a contest. I think a lot of people put themselves on a pedestal of like when they get to a certain point, that's why people get married. I think that's why a lot of people get married, because it's a status, it's like a status quo, especially if you're from a country area, and there's nothing wrong about having someone to love and so if you found that person, that's great. I'm not knock, I'm not talking shit on you. But I mean, statistically, um, there's like how it's like 48%, 58% of divorce. But wait, am I am I right?

SPEAKER_02 41:18

Yeah, yeah. No, it's about like half. It's about 50%.

SPEAKER_00 41:21

Yeah, that's all I'm saying. So and so it's like, yeah, I was like, I'm like, I don't know. I mean, I don't have a dice, so I was like, I can bet money on it. I mean, I I can tell based off, but you you you don't want to say it out loud, but there is science, but like you tell that person, they're gonna be like, why you tell I'll be like, bro, I you know what, I you you figure that shit out yourself. And then like most of the time it's true, but it's like you can't really say too much. Yeah, maybe like, oh damn, that's crazy. I'm sorry to have. Yeah, I'm like, I I told you so, but it's like it's alright, but we're not gonna talk about it.

SPEAKER_02 41:53

Yeah. So like when it actually does come blow up in their fucking face, like they just oh no, they're some people never learn from their mistakes and shit that they do, you know.

SPEAKER_00 42:08

Most people don't take accountability.

SPEAKER_02 42:09

Yeah, no, that's a big thing. And a lot of people nowadays accountability is almost non-existent. Like, best, I have the best intentions, but if I do fuck up, I'm gonna say I fucked up. I'm not gonna be like, oh, just beat around the bush. Oh, don't, don't, don't worry about that. Like, no. Like, if someone calls me out on my bullshit, if I'm talking about bullshit and someone calls me out, I will be like, okay, my bad. I was speaking on some shit, maybe I was misinformed, like, whatever the case may be. Like, I will always own up to my wrongs, and that's what a lot of people nowadays don't fucking do. And I wish more people would take accountability because this world would be a lot better, run a lot smoother, and we would have a lot less fucked up people in this world if people just took just own owned up to they shit, owned up to their flaws and say, like, I'm not a perfect person, like nobody's perfect, and everybody tries to paint this picture that oh, like I'm perfect, like my life is great, like people don't want it. That's what I'm saying. I was talking about earlier.

SPEAKER_00 43:16

People don't want to seem flawed because people we're in a world of imperfect, like people want to be perfect, social media, bro. And that's what I'm saying, and when people have are so infatuated with perfection, is a catalyst of people are so driven. Like, that's what I'm saying. Like with me, when I first started doing it, I was so driven by view. I'm like, bro, who get it? At the end of the day, if like I know the quality of my content is good, if I know that it's going to get improved eventually, I just gotta keep on doing it. Cause at the end of the day, I can have the perfect message right now. I can say the biggest thing. I could be having the biggest I could pay a million fucking dollars to get this shit bumping out, and people still might not fucking like it. And don't f it that's what I'm saying. Like at the end of the day, it's up to you how you perceive it of anything you do. If it's even if it's not a podcast, say it's a you about to apply for a job, you about to go get your license. You about to go fucking deal with some really heavy shit. Like you have that chip on your shoulder, be like, damn, like I feel like I can't get this done, but you can get it done. You just gotta have the belief of like I'm gonna overcome the situation. And even when I overcome the situation, it's not gonna affect me that like when I get out the other side, it's gonna be like a breeze, because I've been through so much other shit. And that's when people, when they start getting that attitude, it makes shit that's hard slightly less hard. I said slightly, like it's not gonna like fix it. Like if you you deal with some fucked up shit, it's some fucked up shit. Like, I'm not gonna sit here and be like, oh yeah, you know, someone died, you know, put a band they don't know. Like that shit is gonna take time to heal, and it's not gonna always like for me, it takes time for me to feel shit. Because I'm like so used to like beyond numbing myself, beyond just be like, I'm so shocked, like because you just don't believe it. And then like once you really see the reality of it, it's just like damn.

SPEAKER_02 45:15

It takes you longer to process stuff like that, like especially being like closed off like emotionally, not being able to process your feelings like as a man, like with other people. You definitely it definitely shows.

SPEAKER_00 45:29

It definitely shows that no, it shows. See, I think look like people that aren't suicidal, that are depressed, like I that's one thing I noticed, like how you take care of yourself. Your body is a temple. How you take care of your body is a reflection of what your mental state and your vibration is. Absolutely. And it doesn't mean that you gotta be the skinniest person in the world. Like it's the fact, like with me, right? If I don't work out, if I don't get myself in the gym, I feel like I'm a piece of shit. And I start doing pieces things. Because I'm not occupying my time with things that I should be doing. But that's no one else's fault. That's my fault. And I can't blame anyone else. So, like, in order for the issue to get fixed, I have to fix the fucking issue. Beyond fixing the issue, it's like getting myself continuing to be like, I if I know that it's harder for me to do some things, what is it beyond making it easier to get it done? Say like I'm trying to get my cardio in this week. Like I know ways to make it easier, but I still gotta do it. Like you can have the best plan in the world, but you still gotta fucking execute the plan.

SPEAKER_02 46:36

Right. Yeah, no, I'm I definitely try to, I'm I'm not the best at like practicing what I preach all the time, but I do, I I don't know. I try I try my best. I have the best intentions when I try to like advise people with certain ways like you were saying, like doing like the inner healing, like I believe like going to the gym and shit like that, but like it having an effect on your mood. I believe that the biggest effect on our mood is the food that we eat. I'm not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_00 47:08

Nutrition, yeah. And like also drinking water. People, your body is made of 70% water. If you do not drink water, you're gonna be any women that are listening to my podcast right now. I want you to fucking listen to this shit. Drink some water right now. Right now. Get a fucking cup. Get a fucking. I got a I got a cup in my hand right the fuck now. Go drink a fucking cup of water.

SPEAKER_02 47:30

Or better yet, better yet. So water, water is good for you. I ain't gonna lie, water's good, but H3, so water is H2O. Fruit juice is H3O2, and that's the juice that comes from our fruit, and that is structured water. The water that we drink right now, it is essentially dead water, like it hydrates you, but not on a cellular level.

SPEAKER_00 47:53

Yeah, that's what I'm saying, because you gotta have minerals. People don't realize like magnesium, potassium, like all these other things, sodium, like people don't know, you need salt. Yeah, people say like it's salt is actually good for you. It's just a proper dosage per hydration. I say, like if you're drinking like two gallons of water, you need minerals with that. Because if you just drink in pure water, that shit's just gonna rush through. Yeah, it's just gonna flush everything. Fluctuate throughout the day. And also, too, it's just about consistency. That's one thing about health. People don't realize like your weight might be like really fucked up. You might look like shit one day. And it's about clicking, like, I think anyone that's like you're trying to gather anything from the health, do tests like how you are consistently through the week and make an average, like your weight, your blood pressure, your like your height, like not your height, but like there's the things that you can consistently measure that can change and it the things that you can see, like, all right, beyond just measuring, like, oh, what you eat, you gotta know what you eat and constantly is good for you because it don't matter if you measure it. Yeah, because even if like, oh, if I eat a little bit of shitty food, I'm like, no, just don't eat that. Like for me, like I don't drink soda anymore. I drink water, I drink coffee, but only black coffee.

SPEAKER_02 49:09

Yeah, I ain't gonna lie, I've been fucking up a little bit. I have been drinking a lot more soda than I should have, but I am aware of that. But I will say, like, the stuff that we eat, like you were saying, like, people were like, oh, just like eat a little bit of shitty food and I'll be alright. Like, most of the food that we eat nowadays, bro, it's processed like a motherfucker. It's not real food in a sense. Like, all the shit that we get from the grocery store, if it's not like caught in the wild, like killed out in the wild or plucked straight from the fucking tree itself, like it's mud most likely processed in some way, shape, or form, which literally it literally it literally kills all life, like that that or all energy that that is supposed to bring. Not saying that the food that we eat doesn't give us energy, like, yeah, we live every day and we have energy from the shitty food that we eat, but it's not the typical energy that you should have. Like a lot of people should have a lot more energy, should be able to do a lot more things, but and feel a lot better in their mental. But with the things that we eat, like just packaged foods, fast foods, and shit like that, if you switch to more like all organic, more raw diet, like eating organic, grass-fed, like no knowing where you're getting like your meat from if you do decide to eat meat. Like, I personally am trying to eventually go like no meat, eventually.

SPEAKER_00 50:39

No, you still you still gotta eat meat. Not not I know you say I I get what you're trying to say. I think you gotta eat lean meat. That's all I'm saying. It's like the meat, like I like pork and beef is the meat, like red meat is the kind of meat that you gotta be careful of. Yeah. Because you're like crushed all and everything like that. Also, pork is like the reason why people of Islam is like in Judaism, they don't eat pork is because it's like it's like it's an ungodly creature. It's always like it's not it's nahala. Yeah, it's not blessed with food. So like also even if you cook it, it's like that you know it's unclean, it's unfit for consumption. Yeah, that's why I mean for beef, yes. You can eat beef, but like pig, pork, no. I mean chicken, turkey, salmon, like you that kind of meat is like the kind of meat if you do eat meat, you should. That's the kind of like that's the kind of path. But bean towards the veggie, because you can like LS, all it all depends on how you replace your protein too. Yeah, you can go.

SPEAKER_02 51:39

That's what I was about to say. Yeah, I didn't mean to interact with it. No, no, no, you're good. But like that's what a lot of people say. They're like, oh, how are you gonna get your proteins? Like, there are a bunch of natural substitutes that you can find in nature that will give you hella protein. But uh, a lot of people have you ever heard of Dr. or Yackie Awakened, Dr. Yaqui? He's like a all-natural, like herbalist. He's a doctor, he has done studies on like how to cure certain uh he's kind of like Dr. Sebi, if you ever heard of him. Nah, who, nah, who's that? So, Dr. Sedby or Dr. Dr. Yaqui? Nah, nah, explain who they are. So, Dr. Uh Dr. Sedby, he was a I don't know, I would just say an herbalist, a natural way of healing things, and he was claiming all these things that he could cure cancer, he could cure AIDS, he could cure all these types of diseases, and they were like, All right, we want you to prove this. So he literally went to a court. I forget how many patients he brought, but they told him to bring like 10 patients or something like that that he cured from various diseases. He brought like double or triple that, I don't remember the exact number, so I won't get quoted for it. But he brought like double or triple the patients he was supposed to, and all of them were had gone through his program and were riddled of every disease that he had claimed to cure. And this isn't in mainstream media. Like, I'm not gonna lie, before Nipsey Hustle died, like he was going to do like he was about trying to fund a documentary on Dr. Sebi and his healings. But Nipsey he died, and then Dr. Sebi, he I think ironically, one of the most illnesses, like his most iconic illness that he would cure was I think like pneumonia or something like that, and apparently he died from that. Either pneumonia or something else. I can't remember the exact name of it. But basically, he was all natural healer, and Dr. Yaqui, I will kind of say he's like the modern day Dr. Sebi. And he is, I don't know, I they're they're both not talked about enough at all. Because of course, modern medicine, they aren't gonna make money off of people healing themselves. They're gonna make it. Yeah, because that's how they make their money, and that's why when Dr. Sebi he brought all those people in, they didn't really make this mainstream news, like, oh, he cured all these people. Like, no, they kept that shit on the low, and then he eventually died of circumstances that he was supposedly able to cure. So that in my mind, I'm like, I don't know. But Dr. Yaki or Yaki Awakened, whatever people like to call him, he is basically modern-day Dr. Sebi, I will say, and he has done scientific research, he has like degrees in all different types of shit, but he basically shows the power of natural like healing and herbs and fruits and just things that come from nature itself. So, like, if you look at everything as energy, right? You kill an animal, that animal's energy is dead in a sense. That that is dead energy, it gets processed, it gets put through all these packages and all this shit like that. In the end, you're not really getting any nutrition from like you might get some nutrition, like they call it secondhand nutrition from what the cow eats, which is the grass, which is natural. So we get secondhand nutrition from the cows that eat the grass, and then that secondhand nutrition, it fuels our body a little bit, but not enough as it should be. And when you eat something natural, say like something grown straight from a plant, straight from a tree or something, that has more I forgive there's a scientific name to it, but it's basically like electrical, like electricity to it. It has life in it, basically. So you basically eat something that has been dead, killed, processed, or eat something that you pick off a tree and is still living in a sense, still has life to it because plants are living, plants are connected, like if they're growing outside, they're connected to the earth. You eat something that grows towards the sun, is growing out the earth, that is going to be more electrifying to your body and nourish your body on a deeper level. And same, like I was talking about with like water and H3O2, the water that we get from our fruit it hydrates our body on a cellular level. Water hydrates us to a certain point, but it doesn't actually get into and open our cells and hydrate our cells to the point that it should be. And Dr. Yaki, he says that every person should at least drink like 30 to 40 ounces of fruit juice a day to have an optimal like health, like have optimal health, uh, whatever you call it. Like basically have peak health. Drink that a day. We're not supposed to be eating three meals a day, like all that shit. Like the three meals a day shit, breakfast especially, was all made by the Rockefellers and introduced into school systems and health systems and uh hospitals and shit like that, saying, Oh, breakfast is the more the most important meal of the day, which is fucking cap.

SPEAKER_00 56:58

Well, and I noticed in my joint, because I lost a hundred pounds. Like why noticed when I stopped eating with all these foods and replacing it slowly but surely, I felt like a different person. Oh, yeah. It does raise your vibration, but for sure, beyond just like working out and eating different food, it's like once you do get out of that, like it's like you stop. Like it's not the fact that you starting it, it's not going back. That's the challenge. That's what people don't realize. It's not all eating food, it's not about eating, it's going back to eating the bad food.

SPEAKER_02 57:32

And I ain't gonna lie, I'm literally in that position right now. I know all this shit, I know how bad the food is that we eat, I know just how bad it is for our bodies, but I'm not gonna lie, like I kind of use the excuse, I'm like still young in a sense, but like even young people get sick, so I'm not in that way. But like, I don't know. I guess like in the back of my mind, I'm like, I know all this information, I know like the proper ways to heal certain things. So, like, granted, like you gotta have some like sort of like fun, I'll call it, in your life. Like, you gotta have some sort of like, I don't know, not like instant gratification, but you gotta have something, it can't just be like all strict. You gotta have balance in your life, basically. And like, granted, you might not supposed to eat like all this fast food and shit, but like maybe like once a month or something like that, getting something, it's not gonna kill you.

SPEAKER_00 58:22

You're gonna have leniency, it's just yeah, that's what I was saying. It's also moderation. Most people don't like but me, I didn't always just like oh straight, straight diet, all that. I still eat fucking unhealthy food. Yeah, I do too. I'm not gonna say I just don't like certain things, like I don't drink, so like I never will go back. It's just something that me, it's just I don't like, but it's like it's like I'll still eat a sweet, I'll still eat like this. It's not like I don't get things that will fuck on my diet. It's just like certain things that like I won't do because it's like I at least I know what I can control and tolerate. And each person's different, yeah. And also, too, it's like just because you drink a soda doesn't mean you're a bad person. Nah, it's like but it's just like you just know this it's all about not being just stacking that on top of each other. Like, I think that was like the main thing that like when I started my late wall sturdy, it was just like I read a book or out there quote from a book from a it's called Atomic Habits. And it's a small things that build on top of each other. And I always say these on po I've been saying this on multiple podcast episodes, but I think it really holds merit and value in my life a lot lately, is the fact that like you gotta build the small things to get to the big things. Oh yeah, and like I didn't realize that's that like me doing this podcast, like I'm trying to like do multiple trips and fucking interview and fucking have a meal. I'm like, bro, I had the means to do it in the time and all that shit in the world, but doesn't mean I can fucking spend all the money in the world on a podcast and all that shit. But if I don't practice and make the reps to go do the shit, it's like no one gives a fuck. Exactly. No one can't, but you gotta put yourself out there and do it. And if people don't like it, you gotta learn, you gotta take credit. I took credit, I had people come like come up to me. I had someone be like, Blake, we gotta work on you sticking to the topic. Like, Blake, gotta work on you not cussing as much. Like, I'll be like, you know, I cool. I'll take that. I consider it. Like, you know what? You're right, but I'm still probably gonna cuss a little bit. Yeah. And the second point, no, actually, that part about second on point that I actually agree with. Like, I'm that that I'm that fully to the T. I'm not gonna lie. That's something that I need to work on.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:32

Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, me too. Like, I have a very high tendency to just run off. It's my ADHD. I have the tendency to get on one topic and then I start varying off just slightly into another topic, and then by the end of it, I'm at like four or five topics deep, like not knowing where the fuck I start.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:50

Yeah, because like I feel like you get like excited about the conversation exactly. It's like, oh damn. I mean, at least that shows that you're interested because those people they don't even like they barely, especially on podcasts, like they they skittish. Like, I'm not a skittish. Like, this is your first podcast, and you're more social than most people I've seen that's done it multiple times.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:08

Yeah, I ain't gonna lie, when I first started, you could probably hear, like, when I first started, like my voice was a little shaky. I was still getting into it. I was I'm a little nervous. It's my first podcast, that's normal. But now I'm more flowing, like I might forget what I say here and there. Like, that's yeah, normal.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:24

That's okay, it's because like you are doing it, and it's like that. People see that and respect that more than the quality. I mean, yes, quality does matter to a certain aspect. You definitely want to take pride in what you produce. Like, I'm starting to do that more, and I am gonna learn that more when I learn how to edit. But authenticity is like, I don't want to add it, like that's all I'm saying. So, like if I say some crazy ass shit, nigga, I'm gonna say some crazy ass shit. Exactly. And like, nigga, if y'all niggas don't like that shit, I don't really fucking care. I care, I like y'all's opinion and I respect y'all's reviews, but at the end of the day, I'm still gonna say some wild ass shit. I'm just gonna try to control it in a way where I don't fuck myself over.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:03

Yeah. No, that nah, I feel you. Like, I've I like I will always respect people's opinions about me, but I'm not gonna let your opinion change how I act, what I do, like who I speak to, like my life is my life. Talk about me however you want. Like, give me criticism, I'll take it. Give me advice, I'll take it. Like constructive criticism. I think it's like constructive, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:32

If it's if you just talking like because I'm like, bro, I ain't gonna friend. Like, if someone like talking shit, bro, I can tell the difference. If someone like generally look at me and be like, I and I and I'll take it, be like, yeah, bro, you right. Like, and I'll admit if I'm wrong, I'm never shallow enough to be like, no, this I'm perfect. Like we were talking accountability. Yeah, like I can't fucking never take no, no, like hell no. Like, I know I'm like sometimes I know I'm a shitty person. I know that for a fact. Like, nigga, I'm I've done some transactions in that shit. But beyond just learning from it and beyond just like adapting to it, be like, beyond when I get into this new chapter in my life and like, oh, I'll change, because everyone changed, but that you still that person at the end of the day, you still gotta acknowledge that. But you gotta forgive yourself, and also you gotta also acknowledge too. If you do something bad to someone, sometimes they're not gonna forgive you. And you gotta accept that shit. Like you, you not every story in your life is gonna have a happy ending. Not every single person in your life is gonna fucking mean you can't be the fucking hero in everyone's life. You're gonna be a villain in someone's fucking story. Someone's gonna hate your fucking guts. And even if like you, you even though like you were in the wrong, or if you weren't wrong technically, but like they it's whatever, it don't matter. Sometimes you don't choose how people feel disrespected. And I'm starting to realize that too. So like if you don't feel disrespected by something, but they do because it's to them, that's like oh hell no. Like, I don't deal with that shit. And like it don't matter how you feel, it matters what it feels to them. Doesn't make it still it's how they handle that disrespect, is something that you should take into consideration, but them feeling it is something you can't control. Yeah, and it's hard to really acknowledge that. I think people want to control how people feel about disrespect, and you can't do that.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:15

Yeah, no, you like that's that's their personal problem. Like, people feel a certain way, like that's something that they have to deal with. That's not your responsibility to take on like how they feel. Like, they feel how they feel. If they want to say some shit, say some shit, move on, like, or if they want to start some shit, like that's on them. That's a whole issue with them. At the end of the day, if somebody talks some shit about me, my content, my music, I don't take it personally. I'm just like, they have something going on in their life to where they have to spread their negativity and hatred onto other people just so they can make themselves feel better for the time being. I'm like, I feel bad for those people, honestly. Like, I'm like, I wish them the best and I hope that they actually like one day find the happiness within themselves to not hate on random people who they literally have no idea who they are just because they disagree with something that they say. Like, I like my content creation, I get hate comments daily. Like I can definitely, yeah, I yeah, I can man see that, bro. And like it, like I could I could literally put something as simple as like save the children or some shit like that, and people will be in my comments. Like most of them probably trolls, but there are those few people who are genuinely like that that that say some fucked up shit, and I'm just like, how can people be like this?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:42

And I'm just like, and you wanna be petty and like more be see. I if I had that, bro, like, dude, I ain't gonna front. Like, I have like two sides of these, like the one side be like, nah, bro, like I gotta be past that, and then like the petty side be like, I'm gonna give you a promise. I'm not saying names, but I so there's some one person. That pissed me the fuck off. And I remember like one time I'll be like, bruh, like I they used to tell me about their shit, about their partner fucking falling down some like their mom died, and they fell down on the stairs, and then like pissed me off. And I'll be like, you know what? I fucking I maybe if you fell down from the stairs, maybe your boyfriend might actually love you. I actually thought that I didn't say that to them. Yeah, I ain't gonna for it, but yeah, I get like I like I want to cut deep, but like you cannot do that. That's fucking evil, and someone might shoot you. Someone will dead ass shoot you over that shit, bro. I realize that.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:31

You can't be that's some wild ass shit to say. So what I do is like I don't stoop down to their level, but I will give them a little taste of their own medicine. I'll do it in a mature, respectful way. Like I won't just like they'll come at me like, oh fuck you, you're stupid, da-da-da-da-da, whatever the case may be. And I'll just be like, I'm sorry that somebody hurt you in your life. I'm sorry that you are so miserable with your life that you scroll on an app and comment hateful shit under every person's post you disagree with. Like, I'm sorry your life sucks so much that you have to give my views up. Like, and then I'll throw some slick shit in there like that. Like, keep running up my comments, keep running up my views. Like, I'll just I will throw some slick shit in there like that, but like I'm basically killing them with kindness, being an asshole by being kind.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:18

And also, I think for me, it's just like most people like won't say shit to me in person. And also, exactly, and also if they do to be like bro, I don't like I don't try and like to my own horn right now, but like people, I don't think people actually like understand like how actually big I am until they see me in person.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:34

No, I ain't gonna lie, you shit, yeah. You you you you definitely bigger than the average dude. And I'm not talking like fat. I'm talking you built. Like you you definitely I can tell you you go to the gym for sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:45

And that's all I'm saying. It took me time because like I've always been tall. Like I've always like I couldn't I can't control that. Yeah, like me being like there's a difference between fucking 6'4 and fucking fat as fuck and 6'4, like have I'm not saying like I'm like the most, like I still like I'm still on on my ass about myself. Like I'm not satisfied at all. Like, I mean, yeah, I'm cool. Like I'm I'm I got muscle and shit, but I'm like, I gotta do better. And also, just because you got muscle doesn't mean I know how to fight. I can still get my ass beat. I want to say, and that's a PSA to anyone out there. Like, just because you a big nigga and you like I learned this. I've got my ass beat on someone that was like five, six, bro. Like, then it's like got my shit rocked. Like, I he's probably gonna be on my podcast soon. Actually, probably gonna be my next podcast.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:30

That'd be a funny ass story time.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:32

No, he really like smack the shit out of me, bro.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:34

I ain't gonna Yeah, no, I ain't gonna lie, don't underestimate, bro. No underestimate people, bro. Like, no matter what it is, height, weight, age, like, bro, that shit don't matter in a lot of cases. Like, in some some cases it do, but a lot of cases.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:49

No, no. I mean, no, that's why I like I feel like I'm a like I'm a small person. Like, if I fight like a small nigga, bro, like I will bite you. I will I I don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:59

Yeah, like I ain't gonna lie, like I don't fight fair, nigga. Me compared to you, like I ain't gonna lie, I don't want no smoke. I don't know. No, but that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:07

I don't want to fight people. I don't like I bro, I I've got my ass beyond just getting my ass beat. I know the in turns if you've ever been around real violence, you don't want to inflict violence unless it's necessary unless you're a fucking psychopath. Yeah, unless you're gonna make it the fuck home. Like if you got a gun on you and you want to go shoot niggas and shit, like like the most of these niggas out here that got guns. I'm like, bro, like if you like you have you ever seen niggas get shot? Like, no, bro. Like you had it's like something to bring. Like me, I seen that shit. It's not something cool, it's mad. No, it's not pissed my pants. Bro, the first time I got shot at, bro, I got pissed my pants, bro. I was I was like, I don't I don't blame you, bro. It was fucking petrified, but it I think for the longest time, me having those experiences, and I also like I had like eight people shot out of my crib. Like I've been around like a lot of fucking crazy shit. Yeah but I learned that violence is the language of the unheard. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Most times, but these the violentest things, people don't fucking listen. And we're getting to a point in our country where people aren't fucking listening no more. So guess what? They're gonna incite violence. Yeah, so you know how you fix it? We fucking listen. And I'm not saying we gotta fucking do what the fuck they command all the motherfucking time. Or maybe take in consideration. Like, yeah, um, like I if anyone listening right now, um, can y'all make it where like we have like our gas prices a little bit less and you know, like we can like live and you know I want to do anything, bro. Like, I I don't care what else y'all do, bro. Like, it's like no, y'all can help a nigga out do something, bro. Like, like, share, like do something.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:42

Like, stop fucking up the people you claim to protect. Stop fucking they lives up just to better your own. Like, I don't know. I just I wish like the whole government bullshit just wasn't a thing, bro. Like, I wish we were like our ancestors living off the land, not having to go to banks and go to jobs and go to food, like restaurants and shit like that. Like, m like some of that shit's cool, like restaurants and shit like that, but like I'm talking about like not being watched with everything you do, everything.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:18

Yeah, they want us, and that's the thing, like I'll think, and like the final like parts I'm trying to like get to with the podcast, it's like I think our behavior and the things we do, every single thing we're always being watched. Oh, yeah. Not even just by the government, by others. People are always watching what you do. And they don't want to acknowledge it. They're not gonna tell you what they feel, but they always are watching. Oh, yeah. No, I gotta play that. Like, that's all I'm saying. Once you get a little bit of emotion, a little, a little bit of something, like when you really start doing some shit, people are gonna look at you and they're gonna treat you differently. And it's like with me, and it's like I ain't gonna friend. Like, I'm like, I don't think I right now, I do not think I am not better than no fucking person just because I have a podcast or just because I like to fucking talk a lot. It's just a great gift that I have that I fucking benefit from, and it happens to have people that like to hear it. So fuck yeah. But I think me know when I'm really trying to get with this podcast, I want the people that come on, I want them to enjoy themselves. Because if they can't enjoy themselves and have a good conversation, what's the point of doing this shit, man? It's like it's a waste of fucking time. Exactly. But like I about said, man, like do you have any real final words for the audience that you want to get across for anybody?

SPEAKER_02 1:12:36

Um, all I want to say, man, is just be a genuine person, spread love in life, don't let other people dictate how you live your life. Go with what you feel is right, no matter how crazy, outlandish it may seem. Chase your dreams and just know that everything is gonna work out. It might not be as you planned, it might not be how you want it to, how you envisioned it in your mind, but God is always working for something that you cannot see, something better, something that you can't even fathom that is gonna be your reality one day. And keep working, keep putting in the effort, don't just put everything on God, like you still got free will, do as you want to. Like, just make sure you put the effort in, keep your connection with God, with yourself, and with the people around you. Don't spread negativity, like just be a genuine person, bro. Like, that's all I can say. Be a genuine person because that's what this world needs, and that's what this world craves, bro. Like, this world craves genuine people, especially me. Like, I've experienced so much negativity just in life, and I just want to show the opposite. I want to be the change that inspires other people to change as well.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:00

Hell yeah. And I've said anyone listening right now, I want y'all to take the time to really like gather the things that spotter me right now and really think and be grateful that you have the things that are going good. Absolutely. You can acknowledge the bad. You can you're always still gonna stress about it. But I mean, I if you can take the time to listen to this podcast, gather your thoughts and make it be like, you know what? Fuck it. I know I'm going through something hard right now, but I'm gonna make it through. And you're gonna make it through, and I believe that you will. And uh anyone that listening right now can have a good rest of your day. And this ain't nothing but a lie. Yes.