Ain’t Nothing But A Vibe

Strength Without Armor; What Happens When the Walls Come Down

• blake • Season 1 • Episode 5

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0:00 | 1:19:24

Some people enter your life for a season. Others leave fingerprints on every chapter that follows.

In this episode, Blake Veney and Cameron Sparks step into a conversation that moves through loyalty, transformation, hard truths, and the moments that quietly reshape a life. Stories surface, perspectives collide, and lessons emerge from places neither expected.

Sometimes the people who know you best remember versions of you that no longer exist.

The question is: what happens when they tell the story anyway?

SPEAKER_00

Welcome to Ain't Nothing But a Vibe. This is your host, Blank Dean. I'm with my friend, my best friend, Cameron Sparks. How you doing, babe, Cameron? Tell tell the audience how you show, man. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Falcon Tex.

SPEAKER_00

So I both said, you wanna tell them how we got introduced to each other?

SPEAKER_01

Cause like I think it's a kind of interesting story. It's kind of funny that initially I didn't know Wait from Adam as they was like, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Mutual friend that he and I were like I didn't I met him in a box at Kelvin, and I was trying to cash and this dude.

SPEAKER_03

I didn't talk too much shit on him.

SPEAKER_04

I'm sure it's all it was just one day we was chilling out downtown. I'm at the lakes. Homie just wears his sweats.

SPEAKER_01

I remember the shit watching his guest shit. And what's sad is telling little homie that we knew on his 21st birthday, we all kind of just talked to Rivense that. I guess he just couldn't handle it. I didn't hit it. My whole thought was just like, hey, I didn't watch you out at all.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, no, and he was over at my house and shit, bro. And like I know this man plays his pre-K. And like, bro, the matter shouldn't mean him been through because I I know, like, he used to come to my parties and shit when I was younger and younger, and like he would get trash shit.

SPEAKER_01

Like, I would have to make sure he was good. And I still couldn't get sin because it's like I was. I was that was a thing that always pissed me off about almost all of his old friends. That's holding. Watch what I say to do.

SPEAKER_02

What I'll tell you, watch what happened. Don't give him using other sorts of shit. Watch what happens when they get rid of the free shit, Drosla. Watch him fall away. I said, Oh, I just do have insurance.

SPEAKER_01

Like you tell them one half of them is singing. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I and them niggas didn't start, they start talking about and I think too it just made it real, it made me realize that I had to gain self-respect for myself. And that's not even just with friendships, that's in any aspect of my life. Because anyone that's gonna take you seriously, if you don't respect yourself, how are they gonna respect you?

SPEAKER_01

And people don't actually fucking take that into consideration. That's something I had to learn at our age, like a learned like at each year's old. Well, really. A lot of people don't learn the shit to layer a lot.

SPEAKER_02

A lot of people are slow environment.

SPEAKER_01

And honestly, I think trauma is often a catalyst to learn that a lot of people live a rather safe life than travels. And the unfortunate thing about those is what's to do from trauma. Oddly enough brings us closer together or weirdnesses it'd say, so to speak, as far as like oh cheating up. It's serious, it's some trauma, it's closer together. And in some weird way, it's how we find a people. It's a beautiful thing and a mess up thing at the same time, but that's okay. Mm-hmm. And I think it's harder for people to really put themselves out there once they experience trauma because they were just in a shell. I think when you first met me, I was in my own shell. I definitely felt more insecure about myself, definitely had no self-respect. I was wearing fucking sweats. Like, I mean, that's cool.

SPEAKER_00

And if you just chill like every once we do a move, but I was like a statement style for me. And that's like that's why people see me now when they see my like trying to like work in my fashion, me trying to work it's just simple, just loving myself. And also, I just think it looks cool. And I don't think it's like even if I have a full outfit, just trying to have a cool outfit, it doesn't mean I'm better I'm better than someone. Like, that doesn't mean shit. Also, it just like it just happens to be the cool outfit. Like, I don't think I sometimes like I put something on, I'm like, damn, bro, like I don't think I look good in this. And then like everyone when I go out, they be like, damn, that shit looks crazy. And it's like I put myself out there now and I'm like, damn, I'm really crawling myself.

SPEAKER_01

Because before, I never would even think people would look at it like that. For the longest time, bro. For the longest fucking time. I think what I'm treating, bro. Some problem getting out of here. It just basically was kind of like a self-filling trial.

SPEAKER_02

Where sometimes you just need somebody most hardly layer that you can't see themselves. And a lot of times we'll be so hard on herself that we just completely decided actually hard on her torch and layers such.

SPEAKER_01

Things even through sometimes it just helps to have somebody that's an actual friend. And the thing is, Syrup knows you're gonna have to swim into a lot of times people you sing to the swings and just parasites, just see you know, seeing whatever thing it may better saddle. She got at your house, a place out of sort of sense of belonging because deep down they don't really suffer. Well, they're just they don't want to be doubt themselves. And honestly, I think it's important sometimes for people to spend a little bit of time to yourself to figure out who the fuck you are. And often, and ugly as it may be, sometimes those moments you will discover your people sometimes your darkest moments is where the light is actually in view. Unfortunately, it gives tragedy to show you what's actually important in often it's a bullshit. A lot of times because of how conflicted unions are that we can't just see each other as people. And it's time to cause them. Yes, we have to go through bullshit first. Yeah, I think it's like people have to go through trials and tribulations. And if you don't, it doesn't make you less of a person if you don't go through something.

SPEAKER_00

But you are gonna have a disconnect. You know, if someone tells about some like really deep ass shit, it's like you can not relate to it.

SPEAKER_01

It's okay not to it's okay not to go through some dramatic shit. But the people that have gone through some dramatic shit, they want someone to relate to.

SPEAKER_00

Because it's like when you have someone, you can be like, hey, bro, like I went through a similar shit. It don't have to be exact to the teeny typical like story, but as long as it's something to be like, hey, I've been there, I understand, understand how I go through fucking shelves.

SPEAKER_01

Like, like when I think when my mom died, like woven, like when my the day my mother died, I remember like I woke up like six o'clock in the morning.

SPEAKER_00

And I remember my grandmother crawling, and I'm just like, and I saw that I had a whole bunch of miscalls, and I'm just like calling you that's what it was, but I didn't really think what that's what it was always and I couldn't sleep, and that's all I'm saying. And like the like I in like the days before I couldn't sleep because I knew what was gonna happen.

SPEAKER_01

Like I kind of like went down on it and I kind of had to pull in make my peace with my mother and anything like that. And it's just made myself wasn't really like came to terms with it. I mean, also all right, you know what, Jamie? I'm gonna actually like how do I actually react to it? Like, how do you actually I don't think I actually initially like that?

SPEAKER_02

What's the thing about most of the we don't want to cry for many people like do the session?

SPEAKER_01

We only program life fairness. Maybe our girlfriend really fucking trust them, like really trust and have been together for a minute.

SPEAKER_02

Like most of the explanation, not so much in the dying energy. This is really bad and all of a sudden usually try to walk off on them.

SPEAKER_03

And I got a fire soldier.

SPEAKER_02

He specifically tells me how we make this something that you felt like a ton.

SPEAKER_01

And really I feel like that's how this is most guests is we always see a lot of time. We always have the never-ending space that wasn't and then when it finally hits us, it's just it's like it's like you were walking down the street and got hitting everywhere. I mean you just you just left a code with that pain that came out of nowhere. Cause like to me, literally disaster island.

SPEAKER_02

I had a similar I was just my only thing where I was just laying there first like uh checking on messages.

SPEAKER_01

Some normal people shit and then I get a phone call from my mom. I don't live in my family.

SPEAKER_02

My mom calls it's something serious.

SPEAKER_04

I think there's something serious she's checking on Japan's option.

SPEAKER_03

And I pick her up the phone in the moment. She is just franking tears.

SPEAKER_02

And I think she didn't voice that I'm embarrassing the law.

SPEAKER_03

I'm from Adolasia's whole thing. And she's just a teen or say, I don't mean she always can come out.

SPEAKER_02

That was John Sanderson.

SPEAKER_01

Blake is such an amazing person.

SPEAKER_02

The last week. To go a bunch of things I needed to leave because I wore 12-hour sheets all the time. I had to take embrace long as I said.

SPEAKER_04

And my very lucky is not that just helps me out. It's the next shit.

SPEAKER_03

I was hate to go to the back and see how we get and told down for a shit.

SPEAKER_01

Real friends. If someone was a real friend that had it just I blog it.

SPEAKER_03

If you ain't got it, I got it. That's how you know England. He's thinking he's thinking you're strange or ready to implement.

SPEAKER_01

Not to say that all things are good. But awful hard time, you would say it would truly so you talk thing. You're loud, realized, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah, it's on that line. You know what they're doing. Yeah, I literally have that. No, like I literally have that on my next to my door.

SPEAKER_01

And I that was like the first because like for me, I've always kind of been the kind of person where I have to speak myself up. I have to speak positively. Because I've had a lot of negative shit happening.

SPEAKER_00

Real loss.

SPEAKER_01

Real loss, real loss.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and that's what I said, and I really like realize with that you're gonna see a lot of people talk about a lot of different things and have a lot of different things. But like saying, and like in terms of advice, the people are supposed to be in relationships. At the end of the day, no one is under.

SPEAKER_01

But some things do hold motherfucking there. There's no one taking things in consideration. We also don't take consideration your source or get your shit from slide. Would you ask for regular charles in the ration? No, with an available, just like the blind fall and reach the other. You can't be asking directions from some motherfucker to be well. That's why I'm not gonna be on here ever getting a relationship. I don't know, sure. I don't well I know how to do how that's that. I'm working on it. I really am light issue. I'm working on getting old people. This motherfucker, ever since he went through this whole weight loss transformation, getting been going around like a motherfucker scared to get into the pool and tiffing his hell of every single pool he can give his fucking furry.

SPEAKER_03

Nah, man.

SPEAKER_01

I ain't gonna lie, a lot of it to do is things are different, man. And uh we can't pretend as emails that y'all are fucking innocent. Yeah, but there's a fucking mission.

SPEAKER_00

And that's also and that's my whole thing too. No way to spell better than space.

SPEAKER_01

You know, I think we'll see how slick.

SPEAKER_00

Nah, but I think people now is just that's what I mean. I'm gonna realize me. I've got I know I guess I've I've gotten myself into like a better point in terms of like my shape, how I conduct myself and all that stuff. And it's still the man. Because guess what? You cannot force someone to like you. And I just can't influence you. You can influence people, but at the end of the day, really, you can't force it though, because I this is something I had to really learn less, like these.

SPEAKER_01

I cannot force some, like at the end of the day, if that person doesn't choose me, that's okay. And even though I'm gonna fuck on it. I think that's hard. Yeah, it's harder said than done. Like I think a lot of people say that, but it's like me, I work along that. I think the savior was ultimately we should be everything's energy, and it's your own energy swept up. And I'm doing yours because the NMR season to stop energy. Your vibe was swept out in the fucking what is that a lot that means? Nah, I don't know, and it's fucking sheer.

SPEAKER_00

Nah, I think for me, it's just like I have a good ride, but I know I'm too much.

SPEAKER_01

I know I do too much sometimes. I know you're gonna talk about what you're talking about. You big as shit and you scared them fucked out of these wings. No, they want you to crack it that they're afraid to get in a relationship. Some motherfuckers get black. They're afraid you don't want to win us.

SPEAKER_00

I feel like I'll be gonna I'm a scale fucking fucking no, I think it's I think ass. I know they won't think the deal of the religion is fucking similar here. I know that's the craziest shit because it's usually the skinnier guys than actually doing that kind of shit. Well, I'm like kind of the chillest nigga, bro. Like, hey, like honestly, like I'm probably just chills.

SPEAKER_01

I'm just it honestly, I think that's why we're gonna be honest. Definitely do you know like honestly? This is shit chill, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And I can hang out with like just around anybody. I don't care if you black, white, purple, blue, like I that's my whole thing, but it's like long as you or uh and I'm not even saying you're gonna be a decent fucking person because I'm not I don't think I'm a decent person. I think I'm a good person that does not a great things.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, like everyone has class, and I think it's it's it does harm to your interpersonal relationships for you to bring up someone's passes in the law, and I realize this particularly now it's how I don't throw gather to God clean. You throw in like, yeah, man, don't you remember when you smoke cracker when when you did like okay, you know a Poker's ass or some shit, like there you just throwing it in the face over and over. And after a while, all of a sudden wires down and sound like gee. Yeah, all right. When somebody is improving, but the thing is also if you're improving yourself, we have to inspect this. Look forward. This is just how people are it takes a while because he tool pain attention grints and release and yells. And this is why again that all here than another. This is why change really wells start from the end. You know, the saucy shit right there's nothing you have to realize that it really you have to get a corpus for yourself outside of other people. That will sound truly to go. This is what happens to them. He has to find something that he was shoving for outside of everything else. What is it like? If you were Sam is a tumor like to wear nothing in motion that happens to whatever that may be. Some people had multiple sons needs one. That's totally okay. Like the I'll tell people that seaches to I like to say there's nothing out there that is set in stalemate was written to your name. Your only limitations and how much time you got to pour into something. Yes, ultimately. If you are willing to you don't give a fuck how long it takes to do something, you can do anything you fucking want, yes. And I it no be I'm not telling you it's gonna be hard. I'm not strinkling fucking sprinkles and sugar and icing on this shit shooting, but it doesn't matter what the fuck it is. If you really want to do it, you light fire on your own ass. You lost the luminary. You could do whatever the fuck you want. It's all about choice. If you want to lose weight, eat less. If you want to build muscle with some heavy shit, eat more. If you want to achieve some shit, stop doing shit and waste your time. Like, I don't know, playing fucking video games where you could be resting and getting up early to chase your goal, or staying up late in studying, or whatever the fuck it is you gotta build to get that goal. And no, I'm not saying you think of playing video games, it's when you do that shit outside of an operation. And it's also your habit, it's your habits, your habits are what create you. You boss by more habits and habits of what you come holding. It's like uh fucking vision. I remember reading the article about this name is mom child. I thought she was gay because he had pictures news in his room, but he just really created something to have and there's nothing wrong with it. You're gonna have hairs watching as they shit ass people trying to hold you down because the figured out themselves. And that's okay because in order to be successful, you're gonna need adverse that's how you play a game like this to your guns to get more genderies, horror bosses and shit to find the higher level you gang. Shit doesn't get music. You go healing, it holds its harder. But this is where whether you're religious or not, whatever you have to pray for development on you. You gotta build some shit the falls of the channel. I'm seem tired of me. I don't want to do this to the polls, not telling me heart is I'm peeing out not butting I don't want to do this dying and shit anymore. This is uh seriously. No, the nation is non legal sponsor that it is not. But if you do the hard things. Don't get some results. She got for the Weezy old self in the beginning. I watched so many successful people on podcasting. All that she always have said and sang the sounding thing that only one clapping. Usually almost all but bestly sure would she reach the fucking handle of your success joint. Like once you cross that finish line, they're all gonna be flying. I'm just gonna be here. And that's okay. He gives it me and Blake have both they are all horses yarning. And I'll just kind of access that be grateful for the people who are willing to ride on all with you in your journey, but more often than not, you're doing it on your own. Say toy, you just can't even wish you yourself fucking say to God. So they say, alright.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And also I think, too, you can't force people to write you. Like you can't totally. No, no, no, no. Also, even that's all I'm saying. Like, even when you're doing stuff on social media, this one thing I realize, like, you can put the best quality content out there and you can put the most time in you this whole thing, too. But you can't get upset if people don't do your stuff. At the end of the day, you just gotta keep on doing it.

SPEAKER_01

I'll know like you think about the fucking stream while the pain.

SPEAKER_00

Well, really, I would definitely like but watch the fucking video. God damn it, but you're gonna be like, You don't like me. You like me now? You like me? They like fucking D Bell and fucking out instead of taking fucking chains and shit. I'm taking fucking people's followers and shit. They're like, give me your goddamn good Instagram followers. God damn it. No, I mean that's the whole thing too. It's just like you be a be around. No, man, because they're not here's more things. It's like you kind of enjoy what you do. And I think now because I'm enjoying them. Not because it's like just hearing myself talking, because I give people a chance to really get the voice out. People get assigned to come on here. Not because it's like I have a lot of views, it's because I get to people, how would people have a good time, bro?

SPEAKER_01

I want people enjoy themselves. I mean, that too. I'm at a point, you know. If you don't like me, you live if you like me, right? I'm gonna keep living a life because at the end of the day, no. So you wouldn't really fucking matter. No. It doesn't actually matter. It's like a function jump on a bucket and give some shit. If you don't like me, bad as flooded. You can cherry your ass, send Mark Nelson, take your hating on ass, and GT feeding me ARG, because that's what you do. You feed away.

SPEAKER_00

That's it. See, see, that's an Aries. That is that shit. I thought so you know, all right. So I don't know. I'm gonna give you a contrast. So like me, me and him, like we were flipping a coin.

SPEAKER_01

So think that's like I'm gonna lead them. He's Aries. So I he's more like Renison. I think with me, I'm more like the balance, more trying to be the peaceful shit. Trying to like oh I am why you mean nigga. I am peaceful, dude. When you get drunk, pissy sod comes off. He's down on Sodge, you were set up with all the everybody taking them banned. Nah, nah, I do have this fucking Eli. Shut the fuck up. Leave him alone. That's in our Dominic.

SPEAKER_00

So now dumb because it'd be done because of it.

SPEAKER_01

I was needing my only fucking lane, doing my own shit, and I know that I'm just missing oriented with suck. That's what keeps my sanity is just losing one mission next.

SPEAKER_00

No, and I'm like talking to people, and I think that's my thing before. It's like even when I was bigger, doing a lot of social shit. Like my mother, I used to have pop-up events.

SPEAKER_01

I used to do fucking like well, I used to do a whole bunch of cool shit, bro. And I'm not saying that I was successful. I did not make nothing. I was broke as fuck. Ain't gonna lie.

SPEAKER_00

It was fun, definitely fun. Not profitable at all. I think a lot of people, too, they do a lot of cool shit, but they don't realize how much it costs to do cool shit.

SPEAKER_01

And that's the thing tell friends is something you got a lot of. Also, unless you got some real ass friends, it takes me and have friends. Most of the time, all the four prices passing, you don't have to be, tell the different shit. So if you try and save money, unless you got some real ass friends that can just hang, you ain't money. You best have money because it's gonna cost them. That's just what it is. And that's just me being real spark with me.

SPEAKER_00

No, so yeah, here's no no you can't hear what they already. But your friends gotta be me. No, you can go. Yo, you can go, you know, you can go out with friends. I see what they already say me going to a club. If I'm I don't drink, but I still enjoy myself. Me now. Me now, I of a you know, I'm gonna dance. I don't know how to dance. I was at I was at this club. It was at Golden Pony. Oh yeah, golden ponies were the close, bro. Like RP fucking pony, bro. Fucking that's dope. I get I ain't gonna friend. I was kind of scared when I first because I thought I was gonna get stabbed in here. Cause like no, because like people used to get stabbed in my shot, man. I ain't gonna find like that. No, like that's not a reason why. No, it's not that's not the reason.

SPEAKER_01

There's a whole bunch of shit. I'm not gonna give no information. But no, no, no, let me say this. Yeah, oh 10 bucks, it's a five.

SPEAKER_00

Well, for me, cheese. I'm like, no, it was five bucks. It was five dollars, it was five dollars, man.

SPEAKER_01

I don't drink, just drink one of there. Just don't fucking drink. Yeah, send me your viewers.

SPEAKER_00

Well, nigga, just like any viewers. This is what I did because I don't think more, so I can talk about this. So this one bar that I'm happy to just make though. I don't like this is the birthday on my birthday. I was fucking, it was outside. We were fucking celebrating this stuff, and like I wasn't drinking. I smoked my whole bottle inside the bar. My nigga say, which bar this is bad. But we were digging. Yeah, we were drinking in this whole bar with this. It was a bottle of drink. Hey, let's freaking get in with it. It was pretty good. I was like, I ain't good. And I was like, fucking lit as hell. I was lit as a motherfucker. But I realized too, I was kind of on that vibe of like trying to create a presence, trying to create because it was like, oh, it's my birthday, I'm gonna enjoy myself.

SPEAKER_01

Then I'm like, man, what the fuck I think is she is for the size. I ain't gonna walk. I think another day. It's just a bunch of white people.

SPEAKER_00

No, I ain't no, I ain't going for the Latin shit. Oh no, no, no, I ain't going for the Latin shit. I ain't going for it. I still love this I love my fucking ivy. That's what I'm saying. Like we have more Hispanics and more fucking black people out here, bro. I and I'm managing tourists just like I'm not saying white people can't get fucked down. They go for something they they do some line of dancing, they don't look good live dancing clubs out here. Back when I was younger, they used to have that shit. But anyways, when they I was talking about this club and fucking I was dancing, I didn't even know how to do the moves, but like they like the culture wise, they're true.

SPEAKER_01

The people are fucking so well, like, hey, I don't know you, but long as you got a cool vibe, you're welcomed in. And that's what I like, I like about this in the community. And it's like, bro, they were cool.

SPEAKER_00

I think true, it's like I realized that I'm a big ass dude.

SPEAKER_01

And I think especially like their community, they I think they kind of like they're I'm like, bro, no, like I try to do that shit.

SPEAKER_00

I'm just trying to be here a good time. And I think they saw that, they're surprised because they're not used to that. That's why I think I'm such having better interactions, because I'm just trying to be a good bra, bro.

SPEAKER_01

And it's hard to be there now, but it's it is. Well, it's because a lot of people ain't such a lot of times, like if somebody's talking shit on me, geez, and the shit they talk shit on me, it's what they're actually about. And if somebody's oh, isn't it cheap on your voice?

SPEAKER_02

I said I think it's a cure.

SPEAKER_01

And a lot of times we project shit out on the team, we suck ourselves out of that one green leaf. Just think where it's all up, it's oh, it's all up here. Get it in a thing's a thing called stay transience, and that goes to uh emotional contagion, which essentially is basically just saying what you think about it. Somebody was depressed. Even if you feel bad for him, it makes you not all be around because it's God's killing. And if somebody's like goofy and jumping around at Saddle, you get kind of energy up in there. Your vibe is harm on mutual and she can like some of these and violence and when they're squeaky in her upset because you regulate them. Honestly, out of the three to be in the one that's harm all the time, it's totally the hardest thing to be. Most people it's easy to be squeaky in GS nocycle or address angry voice upper, but being that calm presence is going. Yeah, that's the one that was I was fine. A lot of people don't realize how valuable that is until they don't have it. It's like this regulation of being all those other two kits in. And that's just in you know what I ain't seeing myself in this other area. I was fucking blade. I was blade telling you about telling you about shit than how I am. I'm about to say like when I first I was about to say when I first met you, that's right. This making crazy shit. Shh. No, like I ain't gonna find it. I was like, it's like this nigga crazy.

SPEAKER_00

Not in a bad way, but like I know this nigga seen some shit. And it's like, me, I'm literally, I've seen, like, that's all I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01

Like, I know he's been boring my cat. And it's like it's not even like a knock, he gets more. But it's just like it's to a point where it's just like, damn. I think he puts himself before others. So like he really puts himself out there. I don't think he realizes like I think like he cares a lot more than he speaks. I think like, especially like working a job. Especially at like, I'm like, bro, that's crazy. I was just like, I'm not gonna speak on what he does. But like he like he tells me about his experiences at work. I'm just like, uh bro, I couldn't mind you gotta fucking tackle people. Fucking like look, we gotta tackle. No, but you don't have to attack them, but like you gotta like save your ass so you don't get fucking beat the fuck out of the bike. Like children shit right now, it's it's mostly um dad's each while we're out. It's sad a lot of these kids here in a position, but you end up with either hate or dad just really ain't there, he never was. The dad is there, but he ain't there. Well, they ain't never had it. That essentially a lot of people suggest how important his followers really are. And it's really sad to see yeah at least kids, because they're known as I don't really see them as bad kids, I just see them as hurt kids that that need somebody God and talk to them like on their horses or she and Viddy and try to figure out a way to engage it and like we have a simple way.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know. I think that's what you did. No, I think that's what honestly, bro, what you did for me. It's like, I mean, when you first met me, bro, it's like I think at first we would I honestly I think you would like testing each other's eyes a lot.

SPEAKER_01

Like ironically enough, because it's like I think you didn't trust me at all. It was weird, it's like I think you fucked with me because subconsciously because of little kid. Like, I wouldn't trust anything. But like mainly with him, like it was just to a point where I was like, damn, he's like, I can actually like be around someone that's actually been through some shit, and also towards like someone that's like gonna fucking judge me. I think for the longest time, like I've never had someone be like, hey yo, like I'll tell you some shit, and then they're like, oh damn, all right. And then like asking. And I respect that. Because it's like, oh, people can tell us some shit about it. Like, they know they'll never know teach you. I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_00

And so and I think truth having someone in my corner, like actually having someone, like I know like AO, like I'm not getting shot mad. This nigga was in the last one. In a bad way, right?

SPEAKER_01

Like, I know this nigga's doing it. I'm not saying that in a universal aspect, in terms of like how he's been as a friend of mine. Like it's crazy. I think now I think his biggest thing, he's just hard too hard on himself. I was like, God gas up and so hard on himself, bro. So he's good.

SPEAKER_00

Like, like this whole thing, like I think like he critiques himself so much that I'm like, oh fucking.

SPEAKER_01

I think it's because it's like he has like a chip on his shoulder, and I think that's what I think that's why he cares a lot. Because like I think no one had anyone in his corner. So I think P he portrays that out to others. Like, I think that's like essential to me. You know what I'm saying? I've had some people, I know what it's like to give me some shit. I know what it's like to go into, I know what it's like to serious thoughts. I know what it's like to be out on your own pattern, registering out or not having that attitude. To have a mom that's doing the best that she can. And if she doesn't always know what to do, but she doesn't make mistakes in a that's one thing that is the hardest thing to figure out at any age is that people just do. And it's really hard to you go out of shape because it's it's really easy to calcify to gang content. And I think one of the things I struggle with the most in life is trying to keep a level of that softness that wants without the tiny cold here. The world the world will try. We'll try to make it horrible. When I like to say that David Goggle should stay hard, that that's me. Yeah, like my dad used to always say that was the town, his biggest thing to me. Yeah, that's some southern. Yeah, and that's how dad said the same.

SPEAKER_00

My dad's literally, I'm not even gonna say he literally said that to me like two days ago. Like, that is just southern you literally do that.

SPEAKER_01

That's all the second thing across generations, like the old generation, because like, dude, I don't know. My opinion, and this makes me sound like an asshole. I don't care. I think most modern would just didn't pest up. They don't think they are most luthidians, and if that hurts your feelings, shoe fits, lace that bitch up and wear her. Because if that makes you mad, let's do some masculine shit. Okay, let's some fucking loads, beat a gun, figure out how to work on a car. I think this fucking generation has done everything it can toxicy the fuck out of masculinity, but really, true masculinity is about strength. And strength is not screaming and yelling and being on your chest like a real it's about presence, it's about protecting, it's about providing, it's about creating stability, it's about community, it's about creating ingenuity, it's about uh going out there and making the world better than it was before. Why I don't remember who said the quote, but it was like uh many What was it? Something ball basically strong men create good times. Good times create leaking and then we can create hard times. Essentially, your struggle is what takes the coal that is you then through Tom of Thresh you, which way do you allow it to take you? You'll either stay cold, take one to we stayed away, or you'll come a donor.

SPEAKER_04

It's up to you.

SPEAKER_01

I can't stress that enough. It's all up to you. Every city you do in the lost is up to you. Yes, absolutely. Like it's up, like I'm not. Yeah, I think homie knows I would say this shit. Two given about I have the scenes that I have anyone that's my little friend. I will never say anything behind your back that I'll not say your face, and if I say it behind your back, I will tell you to your face as soon as I see. And the one thing I would always say about my bro, is he built my refrigerator? But now, this refrigerator. Holy shit. My dear is went from refrigerator to the brick shit house. Y'all see my beer, he is jack as fuck, man. I'm super proud of my beer. He fucking put in the work. Because losing all that weight that he doing is not asked. It requires discipline, it requires telling yourself no. In fact, if there is one word to summarize discipline, that isn't the word discipline, it isn't. And it is hard as to tell yourself no. Another quality of discipline is silence, and that is hard as suck to you to say silence and well and part of However, people call it thirst traps, you posting shit. I didn't give a fuck. I fucking work hard for my gangs, and my bro does suing any other person that hosts their shit and you talk them shit on, you just fucking jealous. Again, going back to masculinity. There was some late damn self. There was some late dance.

SPEAKER_00

You want you want to give a little background why you say that?

SPEAKER_01

Because like, you know, you are you do have a like a military background. And you want to give them like a little bit of context to that? I mean, I'm always in it, but I'm I was stall with shit. My parents thought fixing it. I was just gonna lie. I haven't had an easiest life, but I do got that in me to where whenever somebody tells me I can't do something, it's not like some retarded shit where I'm gonna walk jump off a bridge or something because you say I can't do it. It's more like if I say I'm gonna do it. It may not happen today. That doesn't go for the seat, and it's like if I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna get it done. His life just like late. Yeah, it's fine. He's so big I can get off all weight. Lego being just like him. So I have a had shoulder surgery, Rob I was down to shit here. I had to stand the fuck over like I was moving some heavy ass weight for a long ass like you guys like a house drama stuff. I date her office every single thing online about a dating shoulder celebrity, you can't do shit. It's a worse thing you're in your fucking wedding. All you can do is walk and instant shit like all a pendulum ring. Basically, let your arm lock back and forth. You can only do that shit for like six months. And luckily my trainer, my gym, the awesomeness that is my trainer, and not only she ain't got a lot of permission to do that shit. But that dude is the coolest dude I've ever met in my life. He does a follow-up. I might have heard him because maybe two, three times in my life. Well, he read that baby wordy. And if not him, maybe not like I've never heard him jump. Fonds. Watch he is Christian. He gives like light scene captain marriage. He is the most awesome man I've ever met in my life. Uh this one day I can be able to have that worries that he has. Where if somebody said something bad about him, I would. As my friend has said, I come across crazy sucks. I will probably always have that follow me for the rest of my days. And I don't think I'm ever gonna be low. I'm very passionate. I believe what I believe, and that's that's what it is. That I'm also lochy as fuck. I don't really give a shit for now. I just want to give my wife deities. But at the same time, I also know that. That you don't need sleeping on him. Because like there's gonna be days in trouble. And being a man all that is more than open seals so you don't cut us up off on a teeth in charity. I'm gonna say it ain't ever gonna fucking have a physical human. This is what real Mexican is and it's I'm just I hate sheer boilers like talks and nasty because it was all clear in my mind nasty nid you can have tops. It can be fragile, but if you fragile as Zeal, you can be a dude as fragile masculine. Where you scream and yell at a women and pitch a shit about a baby when you don't get your leg. Or you automatically want to pull a gun out when someone threatens your ego. That's fragile as fuck. Back in the day, people used to would fight and be friends afterwards. Like I may not have grew up necessarily in that era, but that was how I was raised. I'm in that old age shit. I may not necessarily be quote-unquote head, but that's what I was raised because wipe the fucking vacuum where motherfuckers still speak Middle English. I know it was phrased. Yeah, that's how changed countries. I'll give you some fucking examples. I mean they say words like wag, peg, windy, uh, all time, country ass sound and shit. Like it's so than that. And they had like no black people. Well, they have them. They had like five. I saw like five black. That's way different.

SPEAKER_03

No.

SPEAKER_01

It's like a cupcake. It's just like a whole white frosting. Yeah, like a couple black spray cool scene. And then you got a whole bunch of silver ones, or I think that's insane. Still. When the Mexicans become silver.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know, but I mean, I don't know why they sell ice. Uh I don't think so. But no, but like, no, I remember when we were done. I know you want to talk about the first time we went down there. Like, I know, because I think no, because the first time we went down there, we gotta shoot a whole bunch of fucking.

unknown

Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_02

No, we just now said that we need to pass and uh we just show all our yeah, I have to do a good loan kind of show that beach.

SPEAKER_01

So yeah, something that's nice. I got something better now, but it's a sad thing. But anyways, go ahead. It was show as well. I remember like telling me this is all about the first songs, and then it was I think that's like unknown yeah, like what tells me. It is like at first it was because I was in your house saying in June first.

SPEAKER_00

Shut us the fuck off for you. It was like, all right, good age. Because I would have tried along with you to go to work house because like we would have him come with us and he would try to work out.

SPEAKER_01

Like, he wouldn't we can hear what it does the mirror work where you were drawing symbol in a triangle while he grabbed it alcohol. Yeah, but no, he bust his ass one time in all seriousness though. Why I mean it's all I wish him well, have no hate you here with shit. I wish you yelling, I don't hate you. I hope you get your shit forget it. Yeah, I wish I hope I see your mama get though. Anyway, I like facts. If you ever want to make peace, you ever want to hang out with me some fucking shit? Don't bring out leave it like a door. I'm definitely gonna chase it. We also were seeing an old send of his own give us up, which you can say. So it's like a radio. For what?

SPEAKER_00

Like, I'd be like 1-800, we could be friends again. I'll take it right.

SPEAKER_01

I'll take it out.

SPEAKER_00

Well, that's why you're talking. I would say this too, bro. Like, you I think now I think you've definitely calmed down a lot, right?

SPEAKER_01

And I think so.

SPEAKER_00

And I think you're just like you you see yourself having a good future, bro. So hey, I think you're going to have a good like bro. It's like you probably want the smartest people in. I'm thinking I genuinely say this, and I'm not the same as because you've got friends. Like, I don't know a lot, I know a lot of people. I know a lot of people. I never know a lot of people like the matter situations meeting we got into, like, we got out of because it's like it's crazy. But we've been male, it's just like it's cool now to get out of situations where it's like now I've we're both our age, we're like very young off me. Wow, wow, yeah, exactly. That's the point. Like we kind of like situations, like we've grown, like oh, because we know each other how long we know each other for like five years.

SPEAKER_01

It's it's fine. Yes, it's that's crazy. It's over half a decade, Ruthie. That's crazy, bro.

SPEAKER_03

And then I'm gonna ask you, you ever think we're ever gonna each other friends like this? Well, it's like that's anymore.

SPEAKER_01

I just sit there and hope everything goes well. Well, you see Hinduism. Oh honestly, like I used to like be in a conservation shit, and I want to get it's just like the only thing I care about is oh we don't need news. Okay, good. I don't think so. I don't think I don't care about political channel. I strictly stick to what South Park said. Every time we vote, it's between a terrorist and a dish thing. Ain't none of them worth the fuck. I don't care, whatever. I don't give a shit. I last time I saw there's some sort of shit going our hand. I don't know. Well, I mean it's just never in a bullshit.

SPEAKER_00

Well, I mean, at that's what I'm saying. Like they're not trying to be hard with certain things. You can't control anything. Oh, that's what I try to continue to tell people.

SPEAKER_01

What you can control. It's a serenity fucking.

SPEAKER_00

And I don't think that's the major problem nowadays.

SPEAKER_01

We're worried about everything else that we can't fucking do nothing about that we fucking lose track of what we actually control and actually can do all the game's as an excuse of not doing it. People want to make up excuses. And it's not like they're bad people for but making up excuses. It's just they just don't want to be like, I just don't fucking do it. I mean, if you just don't want to do it, don't make no excuses.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, that's all I'm saying. Because you know what I mean? Like at this morning, I think you want to go to the gym today. I I got up. That's what I'm saying. Even though I didn't work out, I got stretched. Like I was in the steam room, I did recovery today. Like, I made sure like I was like, you know what, even if I don't full because like I make sure I would go to the gym every day for about the party, even if I don't full on, that's what I'm saying. Here's what the alert you can't fully work out every single day. You can't recover. That's what I'm saying. Like, that's the difference. Like, you can go to the gym and still do recovery, even if you want trip, no, just go lightly job. Like, or you can just go walk track, or you can just go to a hot tub if you got a hot tub.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, fuck you, can just walk in, damn baby. You don't have to watch Halls you have like J. That's what you mean. I ain't gonna find.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I ain't no, there's definitely a lot of benefits, especially if like you're in a healing man.

SPEAKER_01

If you're like drunk for Tom Calisthenics, yeah, look at motherfuckers jail, yeah. I think there's no excuse. You got motherfuckers about arms shit still giving like you you want to feel motivated? Watch some Bribble's fucking lists and shit. No, I don't think you're like I think people should be able to do agree some. I I can say this because like I'm I I'm like I'm too sad. I'm fucking before we did this podcast, I literally just did what you did like three. Yeah, but the thing is you can talk shit really.

SPEAKER_00

Hell yeah. I was like, I go for it because I was like, 'cause I'm like the most I've ever done was like five, six.

SPEAKER_01

You watched mine. How many dogs you I think you did like 20. No, no, no, no, no. He did like because I did a bunch of other nah. I'll say like proper sold proper, I'll say like 16. But like 22. But like you, I weigh like you were between one on the on CLC. It is harder way, like way hard. Like you see, I'm not talking shit on people dealing with CD or whatever, but like of course you're gonna be able to bust some shit out. You don't play at all. And I ain't talking shit, it's just it just it's just it's just a matter of fact. Yeah, it don't make you it doesn't make you necessarily lesser or better. It's just it's just what it is. And if you're a bigger dude like me, it's like I realized recently, because it's like I look at the scale and I was like, oh fuck, like I'm big as hell, but I'm like, I look in the mirror and I was like, if anyone could look to me in person right now, like I know I'm out in polish. I bad, I know that it's crazy. It's like a fucking like weird, like I see myself I'm like, damn. It's like it's crazy because like a couple years ago, I was like big when I was like, I was big as fuck when I was here that we'll be like, oh my god. But it's just like this is all movies. If somebody wants to post it in progress, it is not thirst tracking. If you have busted your ass for some results, I don't care if you're male or c male or alien, whatever the fuck you need is, you have everybody to be proud of how far it's come. Like, don't let it return. People are gonna talk your whole fucking while. Yeah, that's all I'm saying. And like I learned in heal arena, like I lost like a hundred pounds. And even with me now, like I gained the back in muscles. I'm at a certain point, it's like I am never gonna be perfect.

SPEAKER_00

I'm never gonna get yourself to like a point where it's any person, even if they have a perfect body that like everyone admires, they probably don't think that perfect.

SPEAKER_01

No one is playing, even if like it's always someone is illness or something, but even with me, like, oh, I got hype. But it's like I seen someone else, like I think that's something that a lot of them need to work on. I was like, no, trying to see someone else's situation and then be like, I I see someone else's situation now. I'm like, really, good for that. I want to walk. No, no, I was just one of the things. I think I had a real bad problem with all the children. It's like making myself where I see someone have something more than I or something I want in, and making it where I was envious of that. And I fucking now have it where I don't want to fucking be envious of people that's what purpose is that serve. Because is I gonna fucking fix my situation? No. It's about like go ahead, what you do? So something I want to add on to that and it's it's something there.

SPEAKER_03

Personality as a leg to add on to that in addition to what lake said. So I'm gonna really protect the person I care about.

SPEAKER_01

I've been dealing with some things that I'm not gonna go into detail about. He's just seeking all I mean, someone I really care about say trying to change it. Something that's harder to let go. Understand that people are gonna talk. Also, whenever they don't have all the information and people want to fill in those details with other shit and just go off the hearsay a lot and it's out of your control, and it's really hard, especially somebody's talking shit on somebody who loves a care about. And even more so when they can't handle the soils, and to be able to just say, I'm gonna let this go sitting greater, just understand it. This is like he could lose a lover when he's you could have a friend that goes to jail. That could happen where people are gonna say shit and are idiots and you gotta decide to go and just be like, is I trust me, Air is I have a thing you needed.

SPEAKER_02

I had to be like, This is not what they wanted, I gotta be sharp and bell stairs here and all, and I have to put my own feelings aside, and I also have to understand with on the age. And so it's just a comedian.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, anyhow, most people are a lot deadly than trying to know the comedians and with me. I was trying to sell uh George Carlin. George Carlin had said that imagine stupidest person you know that those people than that. Oh, I see that like you have to understand that, and this isn't me being in my ego, it's just on the adder. You cannot, that's another thing that's hard, both intellectually and in terms of compassion. Really anything, you have to understand that everything is different, and not everything is gonna have the same capacity for whatever is stuck in you as you. And that's difficult because we only relationally understand in accordance with our own perspective on shit. In layman's terms, you're only gonna see things in the way your eyes see. And done that down for some yeah. No, I I think perspective is a fucking game changer for the hockey people.

SPEAKER_00

I'm about to y'all all of a sudden disaster.

SPEAKER_01

No, because I know because like you gotta I think when you try to explain trauma, the people that never had any instance of violence, any instance of like any shocking, like or any instance where they could lose their life.

SPEAKER_00

They but they don't get it.

SPEAKER_01

It's well beyond us not getting it, is they they it's like they had things that you didn't have, even the Ronda's by having trauma is also they had security. That's what I'm saying, because there's one thing about having trauma, but trauma is also facilitated facilitated to with continuous discomfort, and also like in a certain environment. Like if like say you grew up in a binder where you got fucking boyed a lot, you probably didn't have a culture home right here. Because it's like there's all things always correlate. And really add on to that, the charming, the earlier the trappings, the greater the effect it has. She's why everyone develops different attachment styles, different sex, it's like if your parents yell, you're gonna end up kind of those research. You saw like that your needs weren't met as a kid. You're gonna saw asking the shit as to go. I mean, they don't feel impossible. If you saw that your parents is really a hard time because something traumatic behaps, you're gonna shut down your own feelings so that you can be there for others. Because with the earlier things happen to you in life, usually the greater the impact is life. Trauma is one of the biggest catalysts in change. And the reason why what happens to you all while said it hasn't done your sex is because you're you might be older. The play hasn't yet had said the older year. That's why they say set in a way like your it's like a play. That's what he's saying and it's a define to mention.

SPEAKER_02

If you don't allow yourself to keep a little new acting, Charles hard enough and not gone in his way and like you are unchanging.

SPEAKER_01

And in some cases it can be standard, but in a lot of ways, rigidity stagnate, preventing from allowing yourself to have access to better things in our like if you like something for me. I used to hate cars. The cause in the situation had to meet that as time has progressed forward and I sort of have embedded interactions by slowly singing over time just easy and they're good and bad. And that's everyone. Every they're good and bad.

SPEAKER_04

We are all doing our whole shit.

SPEAKER_01

And sometimes you could just haunt something. And a lot of times people's attorney gets hit. Yeah, and they do stupid shit. Do I think you should not pay for the consequences of your actions? I don't necessarily believe that's true. But I believe every situation is difficult. Whenever you kind of have this, your language velocity of your own head judging every single order in such a way that you are completely rigid, and you're not malignable that can be cause you some issues there now. As far as shit like why long life, some things you should just know that some people all of a sudden don't have some dumb shit on cats that they some motherfuckers like being missing chromosomes, frame cells.

SPEAKER_00

Some people that's a self-suck, right?

SPEAKER_01

I think that's like sucking soccer.

SPEAKER_00

No, I'm there, and I'm there. People like that. They're asses just don't care. And it's like the crazy trying to reason those people, and you're not important too.

SPEAKER_01

Sometimes that's an awesome. Like, I think like that's the more they taught me is like bounce, it's a thing to bounce her. And you always told me I always like talk about that on my podcast, man. It's like I think me now, it's just like a lot of I can use my fucking hands and beat the fuck out of someone. But I know just because I'm a big new, I will get my ass pulled by someone eventually. If it's like I'm not immune to violence just because I'm big. And that's what they told me. You can't fight. What do you see in my Instagram shit? No, please. You know, I've seen that shit. But if I maybe ask the dude and he's by, you know how the reason how they say you should go after maybe this motherfucker even fire. And he quickly switches it up, tell him and starts frown. There's a male dog to make you read each other. I thought this little should be out. I'm like, I knew it's nearly half. I mean, I feel like the most helpful thing needs to do in each other is not forgiven. I mean, we all have some shit, some way where we're should relate to each other. He could just be human.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, but also too, I mean, yes, that is true. Oh, well, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01

But people shouldn't be secluded from fucking accountability. I think that's the thing, too. You can have empathy for people, but you shouldn't susclude them to fucking having consequences for the agiles like you were saying, urgent. And it's like people say because you'd be like, oh, you have compassion for someone and you think you can or fucking give them a chance to regain their chance, then we'll teach buckhousing.

SPEAKER_00

That's what the primal people is like you give a chance to someone and they will fucking run around and fucking use that change over and over again into fucking they see their all that chance.

SPEAKER_01

You go that's what all they see. Look at it. Fucking size, the fucking scientific method. You make a hypothesis, you watch that shit and see what happens, and then you fucking come to a conclusion that in that case, that motherfucker soup with it, you should stop fucking. You know, and that's what I basically do when Joe asked is I. Just like, yo, stop giving them shit and see what's about to happen. And then the conclusion was they shit, but if we simplify the platform, they gotta use them every day. Alright, and I'm gonna ask you, like, you were funny. I'm gonna ask you this. Like, I won't put myself out of here right now. What was like the lowest point you see? I'm not trying low, like that much. I was thinking about it. That one was pretty low. Like when you were like smoking like a freight train and your favorite arty shirt, look how fast I can shove with Tennessee. Like your whole phrase is anything should happen. That was definitely a place characteristic at that time. You were angry as fuck at all your situation. You didn't say it quietly inside, I could tell you ready to give up. But that's where I continue to check on encouraging just hanging up. And I I I'm not one to leave. But you're fucking I'm not your fucking I'm not your bad. All I can do is gentle nudges and suggestions as little shit. At the end of the day, your own fucking turses, and a lot of people forgive that shit. You can't force shit. You can't, unless it's coming from your own ass. You cannot force shit. Yeah, I had to learn a lot, and I think you've seen growth. Like I think. Yeah, that's a lot to learn. I know I do. Right, especially those relationships. Like I think now finally like giving myself to a point where it's like, okay. I know I if I want a relationship, I have to work on myself in there. To realize that I you gotta have awesome. Yeah, that definitely there, bad number one. Also, two, once I do get that. What the fuck kind of press is the game like? Well, no, that's all saying. That's like, but I gotta work on myself before then, so when I do get there, I'm gonna fucking do something stupid. You won't. You're already slowly against these wet posts. But now I'm talking about actualized, right? Well, I mean, therapy only helps if you do the hard work outside of some motherfuckers' health. It's like I've heard these theories for a long time. I'm being honest and I'm not I'm not advocating at all for being there to me that people just like some motherfuckers need medicine for real as someone who's working mental health. Some motherfuckers need medicine, like nothing wrong with that. Not so bad, and not let's say I mean telling you or judge you so actually you can they can't like I can't tell them bottling realistic you can't people are gonna judge me by what I'm telling them, don't give a fuck a babble. Some you need it. That's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. Some people need meditation, some people just need to sleep. People can't fucking medical cards for that shit. Am I necessarily agitating for weed? Nothing. I have been so fucking sober since October. I realized for myself that I was nothing myself, so I wouldn't do shit because I didn't know to deal with. And I've been going through the hard work of dealing with it. It's not going to show up. What do I do? Bomb last wall. Play some music.

unknown

Wow.

SPEAKER_01

Not even with ways. Some something. Something. Yeah, I think that's been up right. I know I definitely have not myself. Well, I know why you know why I think I love myself? It's because I've been through so much shit that's like, I say, I do, because this is because you've seen it. The whole trial that I'm building, I've been hit by tragic trailing. I had 80 shout-outs on my crazy. Like, you know, like a whole bunch of whole bunch of shit. Oh, a robot. I think there's some motherfuckers trying to want to see draw right. Yeah, man, that's all the same. And they fucking didn't let you have a host. You know what?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, you were with me, too. That was the crazy shit. So I'm like, bro. And I literally was like, I can talk about this town.

SPEAKER_01

It was only shit. I don't even talk anymore.

SPEAKER_00

So like I had to stand on the toilet, not standing on the I had to stand on one foot to piss in the cup. To be able to pass a drug test. And I was just like, bro, what the fuck? This is bullshit. But they wouldn't trick my foot at all. They was like, nope, you gotta do this first, then we do it. I was like, fuck you. But then I passed it. So I was like, bro. It's like who supported that? Anyways. So like after that, they did, you know what they just gave me? Just a fucking um split.

SPEAKER_01

You know, fucking fancy shit, and just wrapped it up the ace band just. And they're like, oh yeah, you good to go and give him time. Bass holding one set, right? I was like, I was so fucking mad. I was like, Nicky, yeah. I was like, I ain't getting a perfect film. Okay, well, I was like, I'll be gay. I was so made. That's one thing that's awesome. I remember I went across like I was walking and I like I said, like I said, the PSI. So I was on your country meeting shin on the side of the road and tight out flips in the shin and it looked like somebody said there was single season to the chunk. And I was stubborn shit in the house. Shin we all even though it was myself. I was fucking rolling myself, and they didn't really give me shit at the civilian host. Whenever I went for fucking base, they took my ass up and gave me some obsolete wizard great shit hitter. I've never had with shit in my life. I felt like I was in a video game and I just slugged in a cheat cover. It was full of shit. I got on my video game, arcade shit. I was playing those machines, doing that Terminator game. I was having a good old time. There was a statue said, Don't climb my boot anyway. I was walking down the fucking boardwalk, people were throwing fucking frizzies and shit. I didn't even see the shit coming. I just like looked at it in slow motion, throwing it in my hand, and I threw it back. I was like, again, this is good shit. And as soon as after that shit, like the next day I was again, I was I was excited to take another one. And as soon as I saw it wasn't the same effect, I was like, I have it's something shit. It's time to be addicted. And after that, no more. But now, if I take that shit, like it's it's like a fucking anti shit from now. It's like I had one before and it didn't do that same shit. It's like if this is why they say shit like chasing the dragon, it really do that shit. And you gotta be careful. Like if you know you have an addictive personnel, beef fucking characters. That shit ain't hit your ass off. It's what happens to a lot of moves in the military. I'll get hurt. Like, yeah, it's on TVs. So you gotta be actually careful of that shit. You know, so unless it's not nowadays that actually knows it's just like or it's all some other shit like that.

SPEAKER_00

And that's all I'm saying. You take that shit, oh, you become a different person, like legit, and like you like be care on, like fuck being a tweaker. It takes your fucking soul.

SPEAKER_01

And I'm thinking now, like people don't understand like why it's so dangerous. And also, it's like also you can instantly kill him. That's what I'm saying, even if you've been doing that very big. I know we've been telling Mark y'all know Tjax and shit.

SPEAKER_00

I know I've actually understand if it's not for the earth, don't touch it. That's all saying I understand that it's well.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, technically it's all coming from the earth, but they can't feel the earth. No, I'm just I'm gonna spread it. I think you can do both you can do both. Do both. Maybe that makes me asshole. Better yet. Here we go. I'm gonna say like this way. If you can't do that shit in moderation, don't oh yeah, that's that's where I think that's my problem. If you can't do that shit in moderation, don't do it all. I think me is like and I do have to chill on that because like I realize maybe if I'm too strict on this shit. There's a lot of people that I could maybe reach, and here I am, isolate myself from him because like there's a dude that I work with that's really good. Maybe it's just it's a bit of an alcohol issue. And like I really fuck with this dude. He's a really good dude. He just has a me film like I don't want to be hanging out with deals and go off. And now the more I think about it, I'm illegal innovative myself, like I can reach other people. Why he was in church, they call her testimony or whatever. Why just I got to know this person, maybe I could get them doing some other shit. And this is kind of what Blake's doing in a way, kind of outreach into other people. And I think what is so enjoyable about his podcast or others is it's more human. And I tell him to realize over time that intellectualizing shit, like people will tun their fuck out. The more human the experience is, the more people see any. When the human element leaves people see that, like like when you're in fucking algebra class, you can get bored as it. Unless the math teachers tell them how to build some shit with that shit, or how to do something cool with what feels like it's remote plenty, and you can use an everyday watch, you're gonna get bored of that shit. You're gonna want to show start out because you want to sit. I also think that's I'm understanding this wrong education system, but that's a whole other I'm ADHD fucking not gonna be all over the places with shit. So I'm trying to walk in on what we're talking about. And I'll how about say about so like so when you think it's like the final way like your classical change comes from a wind, and you gotta not give us fucked up or what you can say about she has your voluntary changes, it's gonna happen. No matter what you're viewing, you're gonna deal with criticism. Some of it might be to stroke, some of it might just be keep it fucking sheer. And that's okay. You you gotta go through it to get to it. And that's just that's just how it is. You sort of go through it to get to it. And you gotta decide for yourself what's worth it to you. And you gotta get a purpose for you outside of other shit. Like talking about relationships and shit. It's a prominent struggle in the life before you gotta have a purpose outside of your relationships, you gotta have a purpose outside of everything else to where, especially as a man, you also have your own purpose.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_02

Ultimately at the end of the day, you have to remember it's okay to do this a lot.

SPEAKER_01

It's okay to feel what your knowledge is supported by. It's okay that you don't have the goal accomplished yet, and it's taking you some time. What isn't okay is you're giving up on yourself. What isn't okay is you listening to these voices in your head and saying can't do these voices of these people talking shit and want to bring you down to their level because they're afraid of what you might have telling me that he might surpass them. And all his remanders are real friends, they're gonna be there. Real friends, real tree friends, you'll know who they are. By the fruit of their tree, you'll know what and not that shit you got on. And I think anyone listening so far, if they're going through some trials and tribulations their own selves.

SPEAKER_00

It's like you're gonna get past it. And even once you get past it, you gotta think about your future. Because everything that's going on in your life now is going to change for the better ultimate ones.

SPEAKER_01

But as long as you know what you're doing for yourself is benefiting yourself for a long term, continue to do that. Even if it's money. Even if no one thinks you're gonna get that, even if no one believes in you, believe in yourselves.

SPEAKER_02

What the results that's all I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01

With the results speak for them. That can be your testimony. Absolutely. And as I said, this is ain't nothing but a bye. I appreciate y'all listening. Yeah.